Colliding with the unexpected

Thorin Oakinshield

"What do the dwarves of the iron hills say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin asked hopefully. Everyone was silent as Thorin let out a disappointing sigh "they will not come" he grumbled. The dwarves muttered in disappointment "this quest is ours and ours alone" he said.

"There may not be many of us but banded together we are strong as one" Fiona said softly with a smile. Thorin glanced at her and gave her a nod "your words of encouragement is appreciated" he said. Fiona smiled brightly.

"Your going on a quest?" Bilbo asked coming forward. Gandalf asked him for a little more light and showed the group the map, he glanced over to Amanda and then Fiona "my dears, come here and look at this" he said beckoning the, with a wave of his hand. Amanda and Fiona moved over to him and read the map over his shoulder. It was just as it was in the movie

"the lonely mountain." Bilbo read from the map

"Aye. Oin has read the portents and they say that it is time!" Gloin declared

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." Oin explained further. Bilbos face turned from curiosity to concern quickly at the mention of a beast "Uh, What beast?" He had asked

Bofur looked over at him "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals--"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo snapped.

Whilst the dwarves talked amongst themselves about the quest Fiona and Amanda were off into their own little private meeting

"This is getting to weird" a Amanda mumbled in disbelief

"I know...should we tell them what the runes actually say?" Fiona asked. Amanda thought for a moment before shaking her head "no we better not mess this up....but....maybe when it's a dire need we can maybe change a few things" she said. They jumped when they heard the dwarves argue loudly about Gandalf not killing any Dragons until Thorin yelled silence in Khuzal.

"Your mans awfully loud" Amanda mumbled to Fiona as he encouraged his men. Fiona immediately turned red "shud up!" She hissed, whacking Amanda on the shoulder. They sat back down as Gandalf continued to speak after handing a key to Thorin.

"dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori said

"Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I'd imagine." Bilbo spoke rocking on his heels. Everyone looked to him "and are you Mr Bilbo?" Fiona asked

"Am I what?" He asked looking at her

"He said he's an expert! Hey hey!" Oin cheered making Fiona, Amanda and the dwarves laugh while Bilbo began to panic.

"M--Me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life!" He squeaked.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Balin pointed out

"You never know mr Balin. He could hold a lot of potential" Amanda defended.

"the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin argued glancing to Amanda and Fiona directly.

the dwarves begin arguing. Gandalf, growing angry, rises to his full height and casts darkness over the group as starts speaking in his "powerful" voice. The others stop in awe.

"Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" He boomed.

Fiona squeaked and hid behind Amanda as the old wizard calmed down. Thorin looked at him with doubt "fine, we will do it your way. Give all three the contract" he said to Balin.

Balin handed the contract to the girls first who nodded to eachother and signed it. They handed it to Bilbo who began to read it to himself. His eyes widened in shock "incineration?" He asked

"Oh aye, he"ll melt the flesh right off your bones." Bofur said. He didn't notice Fiona gesture for him to zip it as Bilbo began to breath heavily

"Air...I need air" he mumbled

"Think a living furnace! A minute of pain then poof!" Bofur said too cheerfully.

Bilbo stood as if he looked fine and smiled....

"Nope" he said fainting with a thump on the ground. Fiona sent a glare to Bofur "Baka" she mumbled before stepping over to the small Hobbit. She bent down and grabbed his large feet. She looked over to the table with a frown "well? A little help?" She asked. Gandalf stood and took his arms and they carried him to an arm chair in the study.

Fiona returned to the dining room and dug through her bag, not noticing the dwarves look at her curiously as she yelled "aha!" And fished out a small bottle. She returned to Bilbo and opened the bottle, waving it under his nose. He woke up with a start "oh! My dragon!" He chocked.

"Here, drink this, it's good for the nerves" Amanda said appearing with a cup of tea. They left him to talk and sat by the fire in another room.