Pamela, New York

The First Chapter

Isn't that awesome? Obviously, given on my disastrous dating history, I am an expert in relationships.

"Good morning everyone," Jane, the Editor-in-Chief, greets everyone. She is wearing a (very) neon green dress that makes her looking a bit like an elf.

"So we are coming into our Bachelor issue," Jane says and some of us scream out of excitement, "Yes, the most exciting part is we get to interview and take photographs of many, many bachelors."

"And we get to break their hearts when we tell them they got cut off by a hotter bachelor," Richie, the Head of Fashion (Kim's boss) says.

"That's true," Jane says, "So I expect to see the line-up in about two weeks from now. And who do we have in mind for the Ultimate Bachelor feature?"

"Oh that guy in Thor!" Maya, the Head of Feature (my boss) says quickly, "I forgot his name, but he is so hot."

"Maya, we cannot have a guy who you can't even remember his name as the Ultimate Bachelor. He's got to be the guy everyone wants... The number one on every girl's dying list, the one."

"George Clooney," someone says.

"What is this? 1998? Please."

"Bruno Mars."

"No."

"Adam Levine."

"Didn't he just have a baby? Got to be single."

"Clive Owen," I say, since I have this unexplainable urge toward him.

"Pamela, this is not to entertain your own fantasy."

"LeBron James," says Gabriel, the Market Editor, "I'd marry that. Oh, why not that footballer.... Exotic looking person. Christian something."

"I already said, it cannot be someone whose name we cannot even remember!" Jane says, getting annoyed. "You know what? This is a waste of time. I expect all of you to have come up with a sure candidate before you even entered this meeting! We will skip this for now and I will put someone in charge to give me the list next week. A good list," Jane says, looking around the table. "Pamela, you do this. You're in charge."

Ah, shit.

"But Jane, Pamela will be so busy with sex and relationship sections, and In-His-Mind section... She's going to head that too," Maya says.

"Well then you better make sure she finishes everything," Jane says, "Okay moving on. What will we have for fashion?"

"Jane, sorry, I was supposed to give everyone updates on the Bachelor's Bash?" Tat, the Head of Events says.

"Right. Make it fast," Jane says, reaching for her BlackBerry.

"Okay," Tat says with a very dramatic eye-blinking and hand gestures, "As you're all aware, TOYOTA is our major, serious money advertiser. And this year, TOYOTA wants to do a Bachelor's Bash with us hoping to reach woman's market, so they can either buy the car or influence their men into buying TOYOTA."

I catch Jane rolling her eyes.

"So..." he says, blinking dramatically again, "When the issue is launched, we're going to hold a party for women in town. We will showcase male dancers and invite the hottest bachelors in town, including celebs, and... GET THIS, Justin Timberlake will sing!"

The room bursts with violent reactions of sexy back.

"Mannersss!" Jane cries and everyone becomes quiet again, "Tat seriously, make it fast."

"Okay, okay. So you know, I need your help. When all of you ladies are doing your interviews with these hot bachelors in this issue, also book them for the event. And Pamela," he looks at me, "This is very important. TOYOTA makes a special remark that the Ultimate Bachelor must be present at the event. So who ever it is you end up choosing, he must also be available for TOYOTA event. Capiche?"

"What?" I say in disbelief, "So before I can even confirm whether or not he wants to be our Ultimate Bachelor, I must ask whether or not he's available on the date of the event?"

"I guess so, yes," Tat says, "Remember. We're talking about a major, serious advertiser here. We want to please them."

"Okay that is enough, Tat. We need to get on with our meeting now," Jane says.

"Alrighty. Thanks everyone, byeee!" he says and leaves the room.

I catch Kim's eyes looking at me. I know she's already thinking about the possible Ultimate Bachelors list we get to choose and discard like we're two of the most prettiest girls in the world.

"So Fashion," Jane says, "Kim, let's start with you."

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