Querencia | Finnick Odair

Six

I don't know how many days pass, I just know that our stunt made everything worse.

Of course, I knew that, but I didn't expect this.

To the shocks, they add flogging and I can't stand, can't move, can't feel my back where I am sure my tattoo is garbage.

Most nights I can only pull myself into the corner to Gloss, where I only sleep once we hold hands because otherwise, I was scared I would lose myself in the dark.

I believe it is the third night since the screening in which Peeta comes back, muttering Katniss' name. But not like he did before. With a certain insanity, with anger.

So I crawl over to him, slowly and in pain.

"Peeta", I croak out, again and again until he turns to me.

"She is a mutt. She will kill us. I...I am..I don't know."

I close my eyes, asking myself what they have done to him.

"You are Peeta. Your favourite colour is orange, you love cherry pie, you are an artist. You survived two Hunger Games. You will survive this. Remember what you promised me. Keep fighting."
"She is a mutt...", he mutters.

"Katniss? No. You love her. You saved each other. She loves you. She loves you Peeta. Hold onto that, okay?"
Slowly he blinks. "Okay. Okay...okay."

"Peeta. Don't give up. You will get through this. We all will."

He nods and curls up, falling asleep. We surprisingly are allowed to sleep, but the beatings get worse. For Gloss too. He has at least three broken ribs. Bruises and cuts litter his body. They cut up his leg until they hit the bone.

Johanna I believe gets similar treatment as I. There are burn marks from the stun gun on her body, small jagged lines, like lighting surrounding them.

Thirteen

Katniss tiptoes through the great hall until she finds Finnick, who looks like he hasn't slept in days. She talks to him about her theory and he just sighs.

"You...Of course, you know. They are doing the same with Talisa", she concludes quickly.

"Well, they must have realized by now that she doesn't know anything, so..."

"I am so sorry", the young girl says as she looks at the broken looking man.

"No. I am sorry. I didn't warn you."

For a while, they talk until Katniss asks how he bears all of it.

"I don't Katniss! Obviously, I don't. I drag myself out of nightmares each morning, just to find there is no relief in waking", he stops for a moment, "Better to not give into it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."

Katniss takes a deep breath.

"How do you keep going?"
"I know that she would want me to do that. Snow has taken so much from her, from me. She would swat me over the head if she found out that I let him take away my hope too."

He pulls out a small sketchbook and hands it to her. The girl looks through the sketches, stopping at a picture of her and Peeta.

"She is good", Katniss mumbles and a tear slips down her cheek.

"The more you distract yourself the better. First thing tomorrow we will get you your own rope. Till then you take mine."

Capitol

The next morning I get dragged out again, sat down on a chair and cuffed to it. The President enters.

"You made a big mistake yesterday Miss Moreno."