Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter IX

I want to bury myself in my bed and never get out, but force myself to be productive, so I go through the now horribly white rooms and plan and order.

One I want to turn into a small library. A dark blue wall with dark shelves, a window seat and a cozy leather armchair. The other into a workout room, which is why I order heaps of so-called 'gym-equipment'. The other into an art and music room with olive walls and space for photographs and paintings. A piano and art supplies are added onto my order and still barely a quarter of the online money is spent. The next train is supposed to deliver my order and I am actually a little excited. I was never able to learn the piano, never able to draw as much as I wanted to and never able to collect books and let alone have a separate room for them. I then order some more books and then snuggle up in the sheets. I am dancing on the edge of unconsciousness and awareness for some time until finally darkness consumes me. But the peace doesn't last long as I am tormented with headless tributes and oceans of blood. I wake up screaming and freezing.

I decide to not go back to sleep and change into comfortable clothes. The dark sky over District 9 makes it look more peaceful and quiet than it actually is. I wander through the fields behind the village and through the inner town ring, to the market square and back, where I make breakfast. For the first time I can make my grandparents a big breakfast with pancakes and bacon and eggs.

They enter and my Grandfather smiles at me. "That smells delicious, my dear"

"Well, my victory should be good for something, shouldn't it?", I answer and they sit down as I serve them.

Later that day my ordered items arrive and are carried to the rooms I want them in. So the rest of the day I am building shelves and painting walls. I am covered in blue and green paint when I am finished and the rooms have a more homey feel. I fill only a quarter of the bookshelves, divided into fiction, non-fiction which is again divided into biology and history and martial arts, art. Other sections are poetry and so called thrillers. Some are old, some are new and all variations in between. The small home gym now includes weights and some electrical equipment, staffs and skipping ropes and everything else I could fit. In the atelier, which is the biggest room with the balcony, canvases are piling and shelves are filled with paint and paper. Brushes in glasses are sitting next to papers and structure paste and next to that are wooden and acrylic plates. I ordered a stack of pallets and lots of charcoals, chalks and coloured pencils. The last shelf is filled with watercolours. A desk is sitting against the wall underneath the window and two easels are standing in the room. I immediately like the room which is flooded with the now evening light. A different smell than paint floods through the air and I walk downstairs, where two pots are bubbling on the stove. A simple soup and in the other seemingly a variation of it.

"I thought I would try something new with all the high quality stuff we can use now. So this is something with coconut milk and beef and some fancy greens, but just in case it doesn't taste as expected I did our classic"

"That's great", I smile proudly and sit down with them, eating the soup, which turned out great and even my grandma talked a little. When I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep, I decided I wanted to buy something for my grandparents the next day. Maybe buy some flowers and seeds for the garden, even a few chicken, with the money delivered today.

At sunrise, with no sleep whatsoever, I change into a black pair of pants and a blue sweater, black boots and a beanie.

A small bag is sitting at my hip with a belt. Filled with more money than I ever had before.

It was weird walking through these streets, now as one of the wealthier ones. When I see children begging at the street corners, I am thrown right back into the times when that was me, when the only way to get food was stealing it, when I risked getting killed by taking grain from the fields, from the factories.

So I hand them a few coins and I feel so much better when I see all the faces light up. I did something good and it somewhat eases the cold feeling inside, replacing it with a small warmth blooming inside of me.

I move through the streets and towards the market square. The few people already on the streets stare, but they don't dare to speak to me. I enter the flower store that also sells some goods from District 11, like seeds and some small trees that carry fruit.

The lady is very kind and offers me a big wooden box to carry all the things I bought.

A few strawberry plants, seeds for flowers, salad seedlings, something for carrots and tomato plants and beans, eggplant and radishes. I also buy a few herbs, but put off the small trees for a later time.

Loaded with the plants and also some extra soil I hurry back to the house, before too many people are out and about.

The usual sound of the wind grazing the wheatfields fills my ears, surrounds me and I stand still for a moment and it finally feels real. I was home. I was safe. I could take care of my family. I smile and can ignore the cold feeling inside, that never seems to leave me for just a moment.

My grandparents are still asleep when I check on them, so I grab the book about the small garden plants and get to work.

In the small shed stood all the tools I need and I am digging up the earth, as well as using already created flower beds.

I use the raised beds for the vegetables, while I set the tomatoes and the bean plants into the ground which I dug up, while adding the extra soil and supporting rods. I put the flower seed into the existing lower beds, depending on how much sun they need, the same goes for lots of herbs and healing plants.

Beads of sweat run down the side of my face as I dig the spade into the ground to make room for the eggplants. Out of the corner of my eye I see movement and Marian enters the garden through the small gate.

"Hard at work I see?" I shrug. "I mean I have to do something and then why not do something nice for a change?" She nods. "I just wanted to ask how you are doing. Given the circumstances."

"Honestly, I don't know. One moment I am having a meltdown, the next I am happy to be here", I reply and finish off the last of the beds.

"That is okay. You will find a way to deal with everything, I am sure. I would like to invite you over to dinner later today, if you would like that?", Marian continues.

"Yeah, sure. I would like that. Around what time should I come around?"

"Let's say around 5pm? I am making lasagna", she smiles and leaves the garden and I clean the tools and water the plants. To even have spare water, so much spare water to use on the plants was a miracle itself. And I suddenly notice how unfair it is. Just a few streets further they just have enough water to not die, washing is almost impossible and watering plants in a far fetched dream.

After wishing my grandparents a good morning, presenting them the garden and eating a granola bar, I head to the shower and braid my still damp hair, before settling down in the livingroom with a book in hand.

I can tell that my grandparents don't really know what to do with themselves since they used to work in the factory all day long, even though they are two of the few elderly people of District 9. Most die earlier, because they have to work on the fields or in the mills.

"If you like you could go to the market and some of the boutiques. You can get whatever you want now."

My grandfather accepts gratefully and even my grandmother smiles at me kindly, before they take the money I hold out.

After reading for some time I make a trip to my old house, to see if there was anything left I could take to our new house.

It feels so small in comparison to the victors house. With three small rooms a living room, consisting of a couch and a table and a small cooking space, my room with all of our clothes and my grandparents room with the small metal tub and some supplies. I grab the small backpack that my grandmother once sewed for me and put some of my old clothes inside as well as the two books I owned. Some of my old drawings and the last of my grandparents things, for example small ceramics and a little bit of the clothes they left behind.

After that I go to the market and buy a small bunch of flowers for dinner tonight, this time with people staring at me and children either running up to me or hiding behind their parents legs.