His Light, Her Darkness

Chapter 66: A Relief So Great

The room is filled with early morning light, streaming in from the tall windows opposite the bed. My body is n longer beneath the heavy duvet, but instead sprawled out on top of the sheets, each of my limbs lounging in different directions.

I lie on my stomach, and move to push myself up, when I notice my hand is being pulled loosely, hanging over the edge of the bed. I sigh and shuffle to the edge of the bed only to see the force pulling by hand down, is in fact another.

Matteo's hand is loosely linked with mine, as he lies on the floor, sleeping peacefully.

He stayed.

I take in a shuddering breath and rest my head back onto the fluffy pillow. My eyes are so sore and so is the rest of my body, as if I've run a marathon.

My mind is sore too. Swirling with thoughts which I can barely comprehend, going to fast for me to catch a glimpse of what they are about.

I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm confused and disorientated.

Why didn't Matteo tell me?

I feel something towards him, and it's so strong - But I don't know what it is. I want to hate everything about him. I hate the idea of him, I hate that I can't hate him. I hate that I have to convince myself to hate him.

I hate myself for not hating him.

He broke his promise. He hurt me, knowing what he was doing... But he said that he was going to tell me. I guess I'll never know now.

At least I know one thing for sure.

I hate Harry.

With every fibre within my body, I hate this man that I have never even met. I hate him in every single way possible, I hate him unreservedly. He is going to die. And I will be the one to kill him.

For my father.

Silent tears drop down my pillow as I think about him. His voice plays on my mind like a record player. I know that over time it will fade, and maybe I'll never remember what he sounded like, but for now, I have it. And I will cherish it for as long as I can.

It's when Matteo's hand squeezes mine, that I realize I never let him go.

His thumb rubs against my wrist softly, and I close my eyes, letting myself relax for just a little longer.

"How are you feeling?" His husky voice mumbles.

"Not good." I whisper, barely audible to even myself.

I don't want to think about all the terrible things in my life. I want to forget and run away, I just want to be normal. Just for a little while. I want to be a normal nineteen year old, not caring about anything but the unpredictable future ahead of me.

Even after everything that's happened, I would still leave everything - everyone for an opportunity like that. To escape, to rewind... If I was given the chance, I would take it in a heartbeat.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Matteo questions.

"No." I breathe.

"Okay."

We sit in silence for what feels like hours with our hands still interlocked. Only the sound of our breathing being heard. I feel like I'm floating upon some cloud raining down on me, while I watch from above as a spectator in blissful silence.

"Mia," Matteo waits for a response for me, and when I give him a small hum, he proceeds. "I have arranged for a doctors appointment for you."

I let out a long sigh.