Say you won't let go

Chapter 26

One month later

Meredith breathed deeply, she stood at the front doors of the hospital. It had been a whole month since the shooting. She had been one of the first released back for surgery since she really wasn't involved. Most of the doctors had been released by the hospital shrink to return to work. They had all changed, it changed every single person and even the hospital procedures.

"We go through this every morning," Lexie groaned as she stood at the metal detector to gain entrance into the hospital, "it's me. I just cut my hair and got fat!"

"Ma'am please step to the side," the security guard asked.

"Mer! Please tell them it's me," Lexie noticed Meredith a few people behind. She struggled with the guards every morning, Meredith chuckled at her.

"Yes Banks, that is Lexie Grey," Meredith said to the older security guard. He had been at the hospital for over 30 years, she remembered him from when her mother worked here and he sure remembered her.

"You can go ahead but you need to change your badge picture," he nodded to Lexie. She rolled her eyes and stormed off. You couldn't even tell she was pregnant from behind, she didn't have a waddle like most pregnant women.

"You have to stop doing that to her every morning," Meredith chuckled at Benjamin who just laughed.

"What fun is that?" He shook his head as he handed Meredith back her badge.

"You are not right, I'll see you tomorrow," Meredith smiled at him as she walked passed him. She waddled her way to her office, finding the massive abundance of paperwork she was behind on. Her fellow had quit after the shooting which left her one surgeon short and having to pick up extra surgeries. They had lost a lot of employees, most of them resigning to work in private practices or move states. Her OB had even quit and went back to Missouri. So much had changed in a month, her life was so overwhelming. Cristina had stayed an extra week to help Meredith but she couldn't stay anymore and had to go to Switzerland.

They had lost a few amazing surgeons that day; Teddy Altman, Charles Percy, and Erica Hahn. Jackson had yet to return to work, which was understandable with the nerve damage in his shoulder. He still had a lot of pain and it caused a strain in his marriage to April.

"Hey," Amelia said as she came into the room. Amelia was another story, she hadn't been signed off to return to surgery so she was just doing charts and rounds every day.

"Have you been released yet?" Meredith asked. She knew why, she was clearly suffering from PTSD as it brought back so many bad memories. All she wanted to do was throw herself into her work but the shrink said she was t ready until she accepted and talked about what happened.

"No, our shrink is crazy. How the hell was Derek released is what I want to know?" She said with anger in her voice. She was very upset Derek had been released before her. Derek never talked to her about what happened, but apparently he talked to the shrink and that's how he got released.

"He talked about it, not with me of course," she knew Amelia knew what exactly happened. She was there. Meredith knew the cops had shot him right in front of Derek and Amelia but she didn't know exactly what happened still.

"Anyway, how's the house hunting?" Amelia asked.

"Eh, it sucks. Anything we find is just overpriced or too far from the hospital or Derek finds something about it he doesn't like," Meredith rolled her eyes. She never knew how hard it was to search for a home. Derek had mentioned building one on some land he owned but never went any farther than just talking.

"He's picky. Will you be off in time to go the the dress shop with me?" She asked. Amelia and Owen decided they wanted to get married now, Amelia didn't want to waste another second she said. So they were getting married. In two weeks. Meredith didn't agree but she was going to support her, she had become her sister after all.