Where I Belong (WangXian Modern AU)

22

As the ashes of my mind fall deceiving to be snow, 
Your love is my shelter, the light of my soul.

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Lan Wangji's POV

As I wait for Wei Ying in the music room, my phone buzzes from a text.

I had received an image of an article, strangely from Wen Chao, someone whom least interacted with. For its less professional design, I presumed that it was from a school magazine.

When I read through it, I realized that it was an article about Wei Ying's false accusation, except that it was not stated as 'false' in this, but was an explanation of 'why it should be true'.

It didn't take long to understand that I was not the only person who had received this. And that explained all the gazes which were on us in the morning.

The next thing that came to my mind was Wei Ying. Having seen how much pain this incident had caused him, I couldn't imagine what it's like for him to see it all brought up again.

While I'm still deep in thought, Xingchen enters the room and sighs when he sees my face.

"You're not thinking of going after Wen Chao, do you?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Wei Ying doesn't need anyone to solve his problems for him."

Xingchen smiles. "I'm glad that you understand him, in which most of us have failed." He says with a sigh.

"He must be home. I'm going to him."

"Much better. Go to him before he gets stuck in his head and comes to stupid conclusions. He will need you with him."

I nod.

"I'll call in for you in the next class." He yells as I walk out of the music room.

Wei Wuxian's POV

The soft sound of the guitar strings and the faint sound of the rain. I don't know how long I've been numbly listening to them.

My fingers sting from playing for hours. A pain that I welcomed.

This is all I've been doing since I came home after Cheng told me what happened. I needed to think. And I've been thinking, but I'm going in circles again and again.

This is the part of my life that I wish I could forget. Or change. I would do anything to tell myself to not go on that date, or force myself to walk her home, or stop her from jumping, or just punch my own self, I don't know. I just want to do something, so it wouldn't keep haunting me.

Because the regret feels like a sword stabbing inside me, making me cringe each time this comes to my mind. And the unsolvability has fogged up my mind, brutally emphasizing my helplessness. I just wish I could scream it all out.

Should I say that it'd a false accusation, or should I ignore all of it? How will that affect others? Last time we managed to run away from all of it. But this time, with Cheng...

Circle, circle, circle.

The question that hurt the most was how badly this would affect Lan Zhan. How can I stay silent watching such a pure character being stained by my own past?

I bury my face in my hands and silently scream into them.

I hear a knock on the door.

I open it out of habit. Lan Zhan was standing there, looking at me worriedly.