Damon Salvatore Imagines

i.15

Trigger warning: Scene of self harm. If this is not something that you like reading please do skip to the next imagine.

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Ashley's pov 

I wait patiently for the bathtub to fill up. I walk up to the mirror and stare at myself, my eyes red from crying just like the tip of my nose. I run my hand over my shoulders cringing at the amount of fat underneath it. I remove my clothes standing naked in front of the mirror. My hair that I had put up into a pony is all messed up. Even though I am not standing close to the mirror you can see the stretch marks running up to my inner thighs, my belly fat sticking out. Just the sight of it makes me want to cut it off my body. My eyes then catch sight of the bruise on my upper arm, the nail imprint slightly red from how hard I was gripped.

I sigh, picking up the blade from the counter and walk to the bathtub and place it on the rim. I slowly undress myself and let my long red hair cascade down my shoulders and along my bareback. 

I lower my right foot into the tub and wait for a few seconds for my body to get used to the temperature and I place my other leg inside as well and then my whole body. I sit on the cold floor of the white tub and breathe out. It's the one night that Damon and Stefan are not there are at home. They are out saving Elena as usual.

I feel my heartbreak sightly when I remember what Elena had said to me. The tears flow before I can stop myself. The memory is as painful as when Elena had said it to my face. I let myself cry. I let it all out and I cry. I miss my mom, my dad and mostly I miss the happiness I felt so long ago.

I sit in the tub for a long time till my sobs stop and I sniffle wiping the tears away. I sigh and take the blade. Without giving it a second thought I bring my left hand from under the water and hold it out in front of me. I place the blade above my wrist and quickly press it on to my wrist dragging it down the length of my wrist.

 I don't examine the wound and I quickly do the same thing on my right wrist. I drop the blade outside the tub and let my right hand fall into the water with a small splash. My left hand is on the rim of the tub and I feel the blood run down my hands, along the length of my fingers and drip down. The blood from my right-hand turns the clear water into a pink shade which slowly turns red. 

The water soon becomes a blood-red shade and the bottom is no longer seen. I feel myself become weaker and weaker as the minutes slowly pass by and I slide down the bathtub some more. I let my eyes close and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

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I feel the cold wind blow against my hand making goosebumps rise on my skin. I snap my eyes open, find myself looking up at the ceiling. I sit up quickly and look around to see I'm in Damon's room. I sigh and fall back onto the pillows and try to remember what happened. I groan when I remember the events and lift my hand up to see my wrists bandaged.

I slowly get up not wanting to lose my balance. I look at myself in the long mirror, I see that I'm wearing Damons shirt and his sweatpants that are rolled up till my ankles. There are black circles under my eyes and I look pale, almost white as a sheet. I see a blonde head in the back of the mirror and turn around to see Caroline standing at the door smiling at me sadly. 

I look at her, "Where's Damon?" She nods her head towards herself, silently telling me to walk up to her as she says "He's out in the garden waiting for you." I go to walk but she pulls me in for a tight hug. I hear her muffle a sob and she whispers out, "You scared us Ash so much. I was so scared I would lose a best friend. You were out for almost three days." I pull back and look at her feeling guilty but she quietly takes my hand and walks us down to the living room. I walk away from her to the doors that lead to the massive green gardens. When I feel the grass under my feet I look up to see Damon sitting up ahead.