i.19

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The wedding day video (I got the idea from this song so listen to it while reading it gives you the feels)

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Celia's pov

I watch myself walk down the isle with a huge bouquet of peonies with my white satin dress slowly sweeping across behind me. I let out a small chuckle when I see my nervous smile, but soon my eyes well with tears when the camera focuses on the man at the end of isle with stunning blue eyes. My Damon looking amazing in his black suit with tears in his eyes and a wide smile. I watch myself walk up to him and place my hand in his and he bends down to whisper something in my ear as the pastor starts speaking. I see myself laugh at what Damon told me.

I blink away the tears as they begin to flow down and see us holding our hands looking at each other with wide smiles when we are told to recite our vows to each other.

"Damon you've been my bestfriend and family ever since you came to Mystic Falls all those years ago. I've seen you grow as a person. Changing from a person every thought was annoying to a man that protected everyone. You make me smile, you make me cry and obviously make me absolutely mad sometimes. But that hasn't and won't ever change the way I see you and the way I love you. You're a big baby and I'm glad to call you mine. We are puzzle pieces that are finally fixed and I am so excited and ecstatic to have kids with you and to grow old with you. I love you so much and will always love you no matter what, no matter where." 

I remember the day I said these lines and saw Damon's eyes fill with tears and he tried his hardest not to breakdown. I watch as the camera focuses on Damon as he sniffles and reads his vows.

"Celia, you know the first time I saw I thought "There's another person whose going to be annoying and get on my nerves" and you did get on my nervesat first and I hated it. But then as time moved on I grew used to it, falling for you. I hate it when you changed so much that you hid your bubbly, cheerful self, hiding it from the world. And after all that we've gone through I wouldn't change a single thing because that's how I met the love of my life. You were, no wait, you still are my sunlight, my home. You keep me warm on cold winter nights. I wanna grow old with you, sit in chairs in our backyard and watch sunset, drink wine as we have our date nights cuddled in bed, watch our kids grow, build a home we get to call ours and many more. I am so happy you agreed to marry me. I love you, always have and always will."

I choke out a sob as the ceremony continues and we share our kiss. I pick up the remote struggling to find the fast forward button because of the tears in my eyes. When I finally find it I fast forward the tape till the part where we share our dance together.

The night was still young and we were about to share our first dance of the day. The camera focuses on Damon and I again and I see him gently grasp my hand, leading me to the centre while "If I could fly" starts playing in the background. Damon starts singing the first verse "If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you." He placed his hand on my waist pulling me closer as the other laces with mine and I rest me hand on his shoulder and we sway left and right like we have so many times before to the same song.

I could see even through the tape that Damon was having a good time. He hadn't stopped smiling at me, his blue eyes filling with all the love for me. I see myself smile back and watch as we dance around the floor smiling, whispering things to each other and then laughing. The memory of that day is as clear as daylight in my mind. And I remember how the world around us disappeared leaving only Damon and I, us dancing like there weren't all our family friends watching us. Just Damon and me how it was supposed to be. I remember his smell. Bourbon, cinnamon and his favourite cologne.  I remember how red my cheeks were that whole day. I would turn and scan the room to find Damon, only to see him already staring at me. 

I watched as Damon spun me around and pulled me back to his chest and I laid my head on his chest. I remember how our heartbeats matched and how I felt safe and secure in his arms. Fresh, new tears keep collecting in my eyes and I remember the amazing day I had with Damon. Tears start to fall down my cheeks and onto my blanket, that is wrapped around me, again when I see him lay his chin on my head. I know, I remember him humming to song as we danced.

I paused the tape and turned it off knowing I couldn't make it till the end. I turned my head to my side of the couch to find it empty and cold. Damon is long gone from my life and I feel the same loneliness that I feel when I sleep alone in the bed, make breakfast alone and sit at the table. I feel the loneliness slowly creep towards me and I wrap my arms around myself under the blanket not feeling even a little secure as I felt in his arms. I loved and still love Damon to the moon and back and I knew that his happiness was mine. I wish so much that thing turned out different. That he wasn't the one who didn't make it, even though I know Damon wouldn't have wanted that young girl to loose her life. 

There are those dreams I get where Damon's there talking, laughing, cracking jokes, holding me, kissing me like there's no care in the world. I refuse to wake up from those dreams. Desperately try to fall asleep again and hope I'll find myself next to him again where we left off. But the last scene of the dreams keeps repeating in my head and I stay in bed for too long craving the comfort his arms gave me. I feel down the whole day because I not only woke up alone and lonely but I stayed in bed for too long praying he'd just show up next to me, wasting time.

I want to see him again. I miss him so much it hurts. I want to see his warm blue eyes again, feel his secure arms around. Hell, I even want to see that dumb smirk of his. Just once more.

Why?

Why did it have to be us?

Why does it always have to be us getting hurt and us being affected?

Why can't we be happy?

Why aren't we allowed to live the rest of our lives in peace and happiness?

Why did you take him?

Just once more.

Just let him hold me once more, even for a few seconds and I'll be happiest I've been in a long while. 

It was fun while we lasted. It was us alone in this happiness bubble that burst leaving me all alone in this huge world, when Damon left me. And all I hope is that one day when I wake up I'll in his arms and he'll be smiling down at me, stroking my hair, kissing me like he never left me in the first place

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I'm not crying you are...

Hey y'all

How are you people??? Ok well I am going to be continuing this book and right now for the next month probably I'll try to update every alternate day and then update every weekend or on a specific day. So I hope you guys liked it...if you did please press the star at the bottom of the page or the top right depending on the device you are reading on (or don't I can't tell you what to do).

So I'm gonna go my mom's asking me to do the dishes and I've been putting it off the past hour trying to get this done. So thank you for reading and if you have any requests just let me know.

Stay safe
Ily

(Edited 2022: i have to say I love this one)

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