Bonded

Chapter Two

...

Ronin

...

"What do you mean you did not see her?" Other than turning just in time to see the tail end of the dragoness that had shocked me into my stupor just moments ago with her eyes of palest blue... Kavya had not managed to get a glimpse of the maiden... Not her face... Not her striking eyes of shimmering blue and not the stunning way her face had flushed upon being caught in her act of observing us...

And I cannot think of a way to explain to the man I love and have bound myself to for the rest of time that instead of being put off by the fact that she was so openly staring... That I want to run after her... I just cannot figure out the reason why it felt so wrong for her to leave instead of it feeling wrong that she was watching and listening to our private conversation.

But I had had to ground myself to the spot in which I was standing by reaching behind me and grabbing Kavya's wrist... Which is what had caused him to turn around in the first place... Just in time to see the black-haired beauty make herself scarce, "Kavya... I.. I think we should pay the wing of scholars a visit after rinsing your hair."

I know that my request is unreasonable... I know that I should be listening to Kavya's request for us to have alone time together... I know that we have not had time to truly enjoy each other lately... That he craves my touch just as much as I have been craving his... Just holding him while we sleep after collapsing from a long day of patrolling... And I feel awful about my suggestion... But it feels as though my mind will not rest until I figure out why that tiny scholar tells me why she seemingly has walked off with part of my heart when it should be whole and resting in the grasp of my Kavya...

...

Kavya

...

For a moment I almost think to question whether or not I should be jealous that that woman seems to have caught Ronin's eye... But I know that our bond is one that cannot be shaken... One that cannot be broken for we have been through too much together to ever abandon one and other...

Though I cannot seem to understand why he seems to puzzled by finding a scholar in one of this palace's many libraries... She most likely only came here for some peace and quiet and left because we were being louder than we actually thought we were at the time... We disturbed her, which is why she must have been staring like Ronin says she was... And she ran off in such a hurry because she thought she would have no peace here...

"Instead of time alone together?" In the barracks, it has gotten harder and harder for the two of us to manage the privacy needed to make love to one and other... And I miss the feel of my partner's hands all over my body... The feel of two of us reaching completion together and feeling closer because of it... I hate to give up the chance to finally reconnect with the love of my life physically the way we both so badly need to...

But I can see on my future husband's face that his mind is not in the right place for pleasure at the moment and that while we may lay together in the same cot holding one and other, with his mind trying to figure out who that scholar was and why she was watching us even though the answer is obvious enough to me... That he shall be distracted, and all of the kisses we would share would not lead to anything more than cuddling closer to one and other and spending the afternoon entangled in a more innocent kind of embrace... So even though I do not want to, I know that my answer must be.

I do not make him say it... The grimace on Ronin's face when understanding dawns on him what he is asking... That going after the scholar means not sneaking away to writhe against one and other after my hair dries... The spot by the river where we always do the rinsing always deserted at this time of day... And the perfect place for him to push me against one of the trees and make love to me only for me to reverse our roles and take him just as passionately... And yet still... The grimace he is sporting only growing deeper in the way that it is set as His eyes leave mine and refocuses them on the tiles beneath our feet.

"Kavya...", I know that as much as he does not want to admit that his curiosity will best us once again... I cannot fault him for his wonderful mind and relentless curiosity is what made me fall so in love with him... And what causes me to fall more and more in love with him with each passing day...

"Not another word, my Love. We shall give that precious scholar time to catch her breath while we attend to my hair, and then we can go visit the Wing of Scholars and we can apologize for ruining her solitude. But to make up for sacrificing our alone time... You've got to rub my feet this evening after our boots are kicked off.", Despite my stipulation, I can see the biggest smile blossom on Ronin's face as he tries to keep himself from chuckling for he knows that rubbing away the ache caused by our stiff boots always melts away whatever irritation he thinks that I have, and I know that even though my heart never actually finds any true reason to be upset with him, he never truly forgives himself when he thinks I should be... My stipulation not purely for myself... But to put his mind at ease so that he will know that all is forgiven, even though there is nothing he needs forgiveness for... For while we may not get to join our bodies this afternoon... I shall always be able to wake him later this evening to go down and enjoy our spot by the river in the moonlight... Even if there is a slight chill to the air as nature edges towards the change of the seasons...

"Rub your feet I shall, Kavya... And I'll put those damned boots near the fire tonight to soften them for the morning." Without caring on if we are in this moment still tucked away in the library, I find myself pulled against my caring partner, his mind surely still buzzing with trying to unravel the mystery that is that lonely scholar even though there is truly no mystery to unravel...

...

India

...

My heart is currently threatening to pump it's way right out of my chest, my nerves so very frayed when I finally make my way into my shared bed-chamber, relieved that I find it empty of its other occupants and I am able to simply set my taken scrolls on my bedding before sinking down to the floor to try and calm my breathing so I do not find myself fainting...

I had only wanted to satisfy my curiosity over what a bonded pair might look like outside of what Jian and Master Qiao share... But I had gotten stuck, unable to even blink when the pair had come into view...

The hush that had fallen over me in that moment had been such a strange one, and now I find myself so very disturbed by the fact that even running away from the pair after being discovered... I had not wanted to... Not truly...

And no matter how many times I tell myself that I had simply wanted to stay because to observe them and learn more of the love that everyone around me discusses so often that I still have not yet experienced myself... I fear... I fear that that is not truly why I had felt so rooted to the spot when confronted with those intense eyes, his partner not even noticing my presence behind them...

I had wanted to run towards them right there in the library and ask if perhaps I might take notes on them... So that I might learn what it is to share the kind of connection they have... To be destined to be with each other through thick and thin... And a pair of soldiers no less... True battles being fought by each other's side like a twisted tale of two heroes bound by fate to live long enough to retire together and buy a farm together... Raising cows and beans and everything else their old hearts desire...

In just the few moments I had experienced watching them interact... The soft nearly silent touches they had shared while retrieving whatever scroll they had gone into that library to retrieve... I had not wanted to go... But I was terrified of being discovered... Having such intense energy turned on me that I did not ask for... Even though I was staring at them just as intensely... And I am the one who started staring first...

It had startled me into fleeing...

And now here I sit... On the floor in my shared bed-chamber...

Wondering if I have time to calm my panic enough in time to join the others for our evening meal... And if I am truly brave enough to return the scrolls I should have never taken from the library back to their rightful place when I feel as though that bonded pair might be there waiting for me to punish me for eavesdropping when I should have kept my eyes on the materials on the table in front of me instead of spying on the two of them...