The Story of Us (Fili/The Hobbit)

13. Revelations

We all slept in this room filled with a bunch of hay. It was very comfortable actually. I used it to lay my head on. The light of the moon softly shined upon us, illuminating the room with its dim rays. The outside world was quiet, tranquil and undisturbed. It gave me a relaxed state of mind, reminding me how it was back in Rivendell.

I turn on my side and come face to face with a sleeping Fili. The look on his face was so peaceful and calm. Quietly, I move closer to him, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around me as I lay my head on his chest. I think I must have woken him up because he pulls me close to him whilst he places his head on mine. With a small smile, I close my eyes and fall asleep.

My mother told me, no matter what, keep going and don't look back. To keep this small dagger in case any danger came near me.
That changed when I heard the sound of my mother's cries of pain as I snuck out the back door of our house, doing exactly what she told me to do. Slowly I walked from the house, peering behind it. Edging my way closer, my foot tripped over a rock, causing me to stumble into the orcs view. Falling to my knees, I look up at the sight of my mother being grabbed by the orc from her back and lifted slightly into the air. He grinned at me in an evil way before saying "Who is this, Elfling? Is this your child?" My mother began squirming in his grasp.
"Go!" She yelled. "Leave now!"
Before I could respond, the pale orc stuck his prosthetic arm into her back. Throwing her off to the side, him and his warg began advancing towards me. I couldn't move. I couldn't run away. I froze, filled with terror and panic.

I shot up from my sleep, screaming but then covering my mouth. The dwarves began to stir in their sleep but it appeared none to have awoken.
My body wracked with silent sobs whilst I brought my knees up to my chest. I shortly felt someone's hand on my shoulder.

"El, are you okay? What's wrong?" Fili whispered as he moved some hair away from my face.

"No, no it's just-" I tried telling him but I couldn't.
"I need some air." I stood up from my place on the floor, walking over the legs and arms of the sleeping dwarves and heading out the door.

The fresh night air felt refreshing against my tear stained cheeks. It felt like I could finally breathe. An awful feeling sunk into me for leaving Fili without an answer. As much as I wanted to tell him, I couldn't explain everything in there. This is something private that I would like to discuss with him, just the two of us. I don't want to hide anything from him.
Looking at a small area not too far ahead from the house, there was a tree where I sat down and leaned back on, bringing my knees up to my chest again. The tears didn't stop, but they weren't as bad as it was. Silent tears slipped down my cheeks whilst I looked up at the stars and the bright, shining moon.

I persistently cried for a couple of minutes, not only that but I was still shaking from the nightmare. Taking a few shaky breaths, I managed to calm myself down a bit. With my back against the tree, I leaned my head on it, closing my eyes and trying to clear my mind. But I couldn't. The memory of my nightmare was perfectly vivid.

From behind the tree, I heard the sound of twigs crunching underneath someone's feet. Bearing in mind it was dark, I couldn't see who it was. My head quickly turned to the direction of the dark figure.

"It's alright, it's just me." Fili said, seeing the scared expression on my face. I calmed down, releasing another breathe I didn't realize I was holding in.
I slightly scooted over, leaving him a spot where he could sit.

"Is everything okay, Eleanor? You haven't been acting yourself ever since we were at the forest outside of the Misty Mountains." He asked me.

"Honestly, no. I'm not going to lie." I confirmed to him.