Grape Juice from Lemons

CHAPTER XXXIII

" No, I was just happy to see you. " And truthfully I was.

" You're lying, you've never jumped into my arms and clung to me as if I was your last dying breath. Stop playing with me, and talk. " He took a hold of my shoulders and a few months back, to be honest, I would have jumped, been scared even. But having seen a different side to D', the side where he cares for my son and well-being and actually goes out of his way to make sure we're okay, makes me feel things. Have a feeling towards him. Or maybe it's Stockholm syndrome, you neer know with this guy.

" What's your biggest fear then?" At first, I didn't even realize I was the one who asked..

" I don't have a fear." I scoff at that and shake my head. I should have known his arrogant character wouldn't let him admit that he has fears. " Be real with me and I'll be real with you. "

" Perhaps forgetting, although I don't necessarily consider it to be a fear. " He looked like he was remembering something. Reminiscing.

" Forgetting what? "

" Everything." He suddenly added. The boy was afraid of forgetting everything.

" What about you?" He snapped out of his daze. His eyes back on me and scowl on his face, he wanted to know why I ran out of the bathroom and into his arms.

" Too many fears to count. " I answered him honestly. Why should I lie when he never does? " Perhaps being a bad mother, raising Bryson wrong. Ending up alone. Getting caught by the police. Never be given a second chance. Losing, a race, Bryson, or myself. The house. Never graduating. Dying in gunfire. A car crash. Bryson being in the system. Being a disappointment. Ending up like my mom. My dad. Max." He stops me, when he places his hand on my shoulder, I hadn't even realized he got up.

" Well, half of those you don't have to worry about. The other half is up to you." He softly smiles." Who am I to tell you, that you're a good or a bad mom. I'm just telling you that I didn't have one. Bry does. I was in the system, Bry isn't. Make your own assumptions from that." He looks towards Bry as he stares at the TV.

" I saw someone behind the window of my bathroom, later this night. That's why I ran to you, that's why I broke all my razors to provide protection for myself. That's why I was so cold and still wet from the shower. " I shook my head profoundly and felt small tears form in my eyes. In a flash, Declan turned me around and hugged me close, he didn't see my eyes, but I knew, he knew, I was sad. Worst of all scared.

" I-I don't know what I would have done, if you hadn't come here. So thank you, D', for coming, for being here, for taking care of Bry, us."

" It's easy, Jack. No worries. " He tried to look away from me.

" I mean it. Thank you. For always being there, when no one else ever is."

" I manage to always be somewhere where I shouldn't" I laugh at the smell of burning pancakes, while I smile.

" I suppose I'm lucky for that. "

" Go on, you two eat, I'll look around the house and give Shawn a call. Have him install more cameras around here. Give you a bodyguard of some sort. " I nod and let him walk out of the house, while I throw out the burnt pancake.

After I had cut the pancakes into smaller pieces I gave Bryson his plate. I sat in the kitchen, thinking about what Declan had said. About a bodyguard. And sadly there was no one else that was quite fit for the job, no other than he himself. I sat there, waiting for Declan, but he wouldn't show. It was dark outside, scary almost, but I knew I wanted to go outside for a smoke.

When I told Bryson I'd be out, I walked to the front of the house, under the porch light was a small bench where I would frequently sit to have my smoke, this time Declan was pacing in front of it, phone to his ear as he yelled profound words. I'd truly never heard him angrier.