Love and Despair (A Hermitcraft Au)

Chapter 2: And Forever

EYYYY ANOTHER SAD CHAPTER 

also, when it is saying 'you' it's X talking to Ex

LEZ GO!!

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Word Count: ~1.8K

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TW: sadness, mention of suicide, self doubt, stuff like that¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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POV: Xisuma

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I'm sorry.

Those words kept running around my mind. 

I'm sorry I let you down.

I'm sorry I didn't protect you.

I'm sorry I broke my promise.

I'm sorry.

Walking through the shopping district, hands in my pockets, head down, I trudged on. There was no specific place I was going, but I was stuck in my head and just needed to walk it off. 

Is it my fault?

Is there a way to bring you back?

To save you?

Will you hate me?

Do you hate me?

Do I want you back?

That thought stopped me in my track. Of course I do!

But do I?

Yes!

But you hurt me.

You hurt my friends.

You will do it again.

Won't you?

Yes! No! Maybe? I don't know.

It doesn't seem like I know anything anymore. I want you back. No, I need you back. You are the only one that ever truly knew me. Who knew what I needed when I needed it. 

But, are you safe to have around? You tried to kill me and the Hermits. 

You had changed, almost in a day it felt like. One day we were best friends, brothers, and the next, you wanted me dead. 

What happened?

I don't know. 

All I know is I broke a promise. 

"I'll love you no matter what, Xizara. If you need help, I'll help you. If you need a hug, I'll give you a hug. If you need me, I'll be there."

You smiled at that, tears glistening your eyes. "And I'll love you too. When you need a hand, take both of mine. When you want a piggyback ride, hop on. When you don't want to be alone, call me, and I'll be there."

We were both crying now. You held up fist with only the pinky finger sticking out. I smiled, reached up and clasped my pinky around your's. We shook our hands, then pulled each other into a hug, holding on for dear life as we sobbed. 

"Always and forever," You murmured into my neck.

I nodded, "Always and forever." And there we sat, holding one another while we cried outside the gate to the graveyard where our parents were buried an hour before.

Always and forever. 

I'm sorry. 

I promised I would help you, and I didn't. I promised I would be there for you, and I wasn't.