Without Me (kagehina)

Chapter 15

Hinata sat in the kitchen, finishing a bowl of noodles. 'That was soo good' he thought to himself with a sudden upbeat attitude.

He cleaned up and went to tsukishimas room, finding him doing homework. "All you ever do after practice is schoolwork. So boring." He said while falling on tsukkis bed. "Well, unlike some people I know, I prefer keeping my grades somewhat decent instead of failing." He said while straightening his things and putting away his work.

Hinata hung halfway off of the bed "I'm not failing! I could just use higher grades..." he said the last part in a low voice before sitting up properly.

Tsukishima stretched and sat next to him "So, what is it you were trying to explain to me earlier during practice?" Hinata bit his lip, trying to think of a way to explain "Hmm...so whenever I'm happy and able to freely smile for a period of time, I suddenly get this feeling of..sadness..or no- emptiness? I'm not sure how to explain it, but I end up feeling..just like nothing..no happiness, no emotion, no will to smile."

Tsukishima pursed his lips before speaking "I'm no doctor, but a relative of mine used to have depression. And if I'm not wrong...what you just described sounds just like it. Although I may be wrong, don't take my word for it." He looked at Hinata, who, after carefully thinking over what tsukki said, only had a blank face. "...I wouldn't be surprised." He mumbled.

"What if I'm never truly happy? I have you and Kageyama but...I don't feel right. Is that selfish of me?" Hinata said with a distressed face. He didn't understand why he wasn't happier now. Everything was better, yet he couldn't get rid of his terrible emotions.

Tsukishima stood up "You will be happy, I promise." He said with a very certain voice, as if anything he said was sure to come true. That's what Hinata thought at least. The bright haired boy stood up and wrapped his arms around tsukishima "Thank you, tsukki."

Tsukishima gently hugged in return "You're welcome, shrimpy. Now, lets get you to bed, I'm sure you had a long night with the king yesterday." Hinata felt his face heat up "We didn't do anything! We only cuddled! Quit it with the teasing!" He yelled.

"Judging by the way I caught him practically eating your neck earlier, I find that hard to believe. But, if you say so!" Tsukki said, laying down. Hinata huffed in response, laying down on the bed he had made on the floor. "Saltyshima" he said in a low voice.

"Goodnight." tsukishima stated before drifting off to sleep. "Goodnight!" Hinata said, doing the same.

•••

Hinata yawned, standing up and looking at the time.

2:37 am

'Too early' he thought to himself, stretching. He decided to head to the kitchen and grab some water.

Once he got to the kitchen, Hinata opened the fridge and looked inside. He didn't see any water and mumbled to himself, slightly annoyed. He woke up just after having a dream, or more of a nightmare, about falling into his own darkness, being left alone by everyone he loved and cared about. He shivered at the thought as he grabbed a cup, deciding on getting tap water.

Hinata stood resting against the counter as he drank.

As he set his glass down, his stomach rumbled. He figured he might as well eat something or he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep anyway.

He quietly opened the first cabinet and looked inside. Nothing, just things that needed to be cooked. He then opened a cabinet a couple steps away and looked inside. Perfect. There were a ton of snacks that wouldn't be too filling, since it was almost 3 in the morning.