chapter 50

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Trisa

I woke up with his arms encircled round my waist, he was still asleep. I gently broke out of the oh so comfortable cuddle, I was still angry with him. I don't know what exactly I was angry about. Maybe I was angry at him being right, which thinking about it seems rather unreasonable but I was petty and decided to hold it against him.

I sighed deeply, I guess I'll take the trip, I mean what's the use of paying money to see a psychologist who would probably give me the same advice. I went into the bathroom, brushed, showered and changed into a simple T-shirt and jeans.

Jake was still asleep. I only just noticed he wasn't wearing the cast anymore, I had been too preoccupied with my thoughts and Luke to take much notice at the prominent changes in my surrounding.

I went downstairs to make breakfast that I had no appetite for, but I missed the time for my drugs yesterday night so I have to take it extra early this morning. Yay me.

I was mixing the batter for pancakes when the doorbell went off. No one was up yet so I yelled ''coming'' and quickly washed my hands, cleaning it on my apron and going to check who was at the door.

I opened the door with a taser nearby incase it was an intruder. But I was met with a delightful surprise.

''Tara!!'' I exclaimed engulfing her in a bone crushing hug.

''Trisa, I've missed you so much, how are you?'' she asked as I ushered her in.

''I'm good, you?''

''I'm alive, work's been pretty hectic, I'm working in England for the remainder of this month, so I decided to stop by, actually I planned on doing so even before Jake called'' she explained.

''Jake called you''

''Yes he did, weren't you aware. He told me everything, I'm so sorry you had to go through that again''

''You have nothing to be sorry for, it's not your fault and I'm happy he called you, at least he called a psychologist I knew, but I'm quite furious he didn't tell me. Please have a seat'' I said gesturing for her to sit down. She did so with a sigh.

''Do you want to tell me your own version of the story or should I just advice you on what to do?'' she asked.

''Well I'll much rather you hear my side, just incase he left out anything.

I told her my side of the story without leaving out any single detail starting from Luke's kidnap to Jake's outburst.

''You know he's right, Jake and your father in-law, you need some time to forget all these experiences they could lead to emotional trauma, you'll get traumatized again if you don't take care of yourself but you need something far more therapeutic than the holiday, a faster remedy that might seem impossible''

''What is it?'' I asked.

''You need to let go and by letting go I mean really letting go of the past, forgiving those who hurt you, yes it's too much to ask but don't see it as doing the other person a favor see it as doing yourself a favor, finally being free to start your life over without being haunted with the mistakes and terrors of the past'' she said.

''You're saying it like it's the easiest thing in the world, I can't just forgive them after everything they put my family and I through. I forgave Nancy, I was sure she had changed but I was deceived, there's no way I'm making that mistake again'' I explained.

''I understand it's not easy like I said but it'll do you a lot of good, you'll have ultimate freedom, what good is keeping all those negative thoughts and deeds with you, when you're the one paying for it in the end with all the nightmare's and pain. Trisa you need to let go, the holiday might help yes but letting go is the best options you have now, you'll finally be at peace'' she said persuasively.

''I need time to think about it'' I reasoned.

''Okay and if you have any doubts just give me a call'' she said and I nodded and gave her a hug.

''I'm starving what's for breakfast?'' she asked following me into the kitchen.

''Blueberry pancakes, made from scratch you interested?''

''Of course, what can I do?'' she asked tying the apron I handed her around her waist.

We finished making breakfast together while talking about other things happening in each other's life, then I set the table and called everyone down for breakfast. Tara had breakfast and lunch with us before leaving.

In the evening I went outside, thinking about what she said, that I needed to let go.

I made a decision there and then I needed to really let go and I knew exactly what to do.

Finally updated so what do you think, what's she going to do to let go and reader's I understand that this is just a book but it's also educating you, if you have some negative emotions held against someone and kept deep within you, you're only killing yourself slowly believe me when I say it's not hurting the other person but you like Tara said we all need to let go. Don't forget to vote and comment. Thanks for reading, good night.

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