"This is the border to 'heaven.' Move north once the sun sets. From there, just follow the plan. The Marleyan Army will anchor here on the full moon, so remember that as you carry out the plan to retake the founder."
The commander's words echoed in my mind. They were practically looming over me just as the dark sky did right now.
The night was cold, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the feeling which weighed down on my mind; the copious amounts of guilt which caused my every movement to feel like I was trying to move a mountain.
It wasn't often that I hesitated when making decisions, but this time it almost felt inevitable. I couldn't protect both of them, but I knew from the start, didn't I?
It wasn't fair of me to influence the decisions of the commanding officers, but what other choice did I have?
"I'm sorry, Reiner." I spoke, surprised by how quietly I'd spoken.
Everyone's eyes were immediately on me.
Despite the fact I looked towards a certain hazel eyed boy, it was her gaze that lingered on my mind. Compared to everyone else, it was like a fire lit beneath me. Like if I were to waiver for even a moment, I would be swallowed up by the flames of my own regret.
"Sorry...?" the hazel eyed boy wondered aloud, "what for?"
I looked away, "it's my fault that you're a Warrior. In trying to keep my brother alive... in making sure that he would live a longer life than me!..." I paused for a moment, clearing away the lump that had formed in my throat, "I've cursed you to live a shorter life than anyone else."
"What are you talking about, Marcel?" the blonde boy suddenly piped up, "this is one of the greatest honors in all of Marley! Becoming a Warrior is something we, as second class citizens, are proud of!"
There it was again. That pulling of guilt which weighed me down more than weights ever could. He didn't realise the truth of becoming a Warrior... I couldn't understand how he could love his nation more than his own life! Most of all, I couldn't understand how after being told to die, she still agreed anyway...
She was afraid to be alone, just as everyone else was.
She knew what it meant to become a Warrior yet willingly chose it regardless.
She'd lost nearly everything that ever mattered to her and was still told to give away more!
It took me a moment to realise it, but I wasn't staring into the fire anymore, nor was it the hazel eyes of a certain boy.
I knew as soon as I saw them that I was looking at her.
Beautiful (e/c) eyes, reflecting the light of the fire like fireflies on a lake.
I shook my head. This wasn't about her, this was supposed to be about him! Supposed to be about saving my brother!
I had told myself over and over again that I wouldn't be able to save both of them. I told myself that the moment they became Warrior Candidates alongside me was the moment I failed to protect them, but that still didn't stop me.
I knew I shouldn't have said anything, especially at a time like this, but with our lives on the line I felt I had to say something. It's what she would want me to do.
After a night of restless tension, the colours of dawn broke through the sky.
Tension in the group hadn't gone down and the consequences of last night weighed heavy on my mind. I was certain that we should have started moving towards the walls already, but we hadn't.
YOU ARE READING
Friend or Foe... (AoT Reader Insert)
Fanfiction"If I didn't know the dangers of the life I had chosen then I wouldn't have chosen it...the moment I agreed to this life was the moment the world was telling me to die. So if someone told me to die, would I? Well, I guess I would." First installment...
