Chapter 45: What Changed?

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"Sorry you've got to handle my horse..."

"You shouldn't be using your energy here."

"Yeah, I know."

I nodded absentmindedly as Eren and Mikasa conversed with one another. I was too busy being absorbed in my own mind to pay attention to what they were talking about.

Low and behold, my thoughts were consumed by her.

I think the first time I met (Y/n) was when I was 10 years old.

I remember thinking two things specifically after my encounter with her that day. One was the fact that she was very observant.

She was handing out rations in the Trost District. I didn't know much about her at the time; I don't even think I knew her name back then.

I wasn't the most chatty back then, especially since the time in which I had met her coincided with my grandfather's passing. Despite the fact that the two of us hadn't exchanged any words, she had decided to give me an extra ration. It was as though she knew that something was troubling me.

Perhaps I had been more obvious than I initially thought. Even so, most people wouldn't help someone they barely knew.

"Nothing stays bad forever."

That's what she said to me that day. Back then, despite the fact that we'd only met once; despite the fact that she had no reason to help me; despite the fact that we didn't even know each other's names; she had managed to say exactly what I needed to hear.

Later in the day, two men had robbed me. (Y/n), a young girl who was barely half their height, had somehow managed to successfully retrieve what was taken from me.

Though she told me that they were passed out drunk when she found them, I didn't believe her. I think if I had known her better at the time, I would've called her out on it, but I didn't. I simply took her word for it.

That's the second thing I learned that day. (Y/n) was a bad liar.

I could convince myself that the reason (Y/n)'s betrayal was so surprising was because she had lied about everything, but she hadn't. I'm not sure of the situation she was going through at the time, but the reactions and feelings she portrayed felt genuine.

I don't know if she remembers it the same way I do, but I guess it doesn't really matter.

"Titan to the left!"

"Everyone halt! Illuminate the area!"

My blood ran cold as a Titan entered my view. It wasn't doing anything threatening, but its presence alone was enough to send a chill down my spine.

"We didn't even notice it until we were so close..." Eren mumbled.

I could only imagine what might've happened had that Titan been able to move during the night.

A massacre, perhaps? A setback in the plan? No... I couldn't think that way. I needed to stay focused on the task at hand. We were heading to Shiganshina to enter Eren's basement. We were finally going to understand the world in a way we had never before!

That's when I noticed it.

"Eren... why are you shaking?" I asked, Eren seemingly freezing up at my voice, "are you scared?"

"I'm not scared! Why would I be scared?"

"What? No way. Your hands are shaking!"

"That's because... I'm cold. My hands are freezing right now."

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