hurt me please|| l.s

9

~sorry about the annoyingly long break...but here we are:)))~

self harm is mentioned here, I absolutely dont encourage it...

I know sometimes it feels like the only way out but please never forget your loved by someone 

please please please remember youre amazing k?

continue:)

Louis wasn't able to sleep that night, he was just up sobbing. Lucky for him no one stayed near his room, he didn't want to trouble anyone. This is when it started again. He swore to never do it after max...but this pain felt real. The man he was starting to love just used him and tossed him aside, like always. So he walked to his bathroom and brought out a razor which was kept there. He slowly slid it across his hip, not wanting anyone to see it. He'd been clean for so long, then harry had to come and fuck it up. He felt and saw drops of blood seep down his legs. He felt each drop race down to his knee. He felt the pain he thought he deserved. After a couple of cuts and a lot more of crying, he finally lay down and slept, Rather tried after his whole night.

To Louis' dismay, he was awoken at 8 by his alarm. '3 hours...not bad' he thought as he got out to get ready for uni. He got into his favourite pair of red jeans and a striped tee. He loved it, reminded him of when he was younger. With that smile on his face, he walked down to get breakfast...thats when he saw it. He saw harry kissing haley...proper snogging her. That was it. He was officially shutting completely. He walked past them and grabbed a fruit...lost his appetite. He was about to leave the kitchen when harry finally looked up

"Louis..." harry started and haley looked at him with an evil grin. He knew she'd won so he was going to give up...probably wouldn't be long till harry either discards of or kills him.

"sir" Louis said and nodded flashing harry a broken smile and left. He decided to catch a bus to school and started walking towards a nearby bus stop. Once he reached, he noticed he had a few unread messages. He opened them, a couple were from Niall asking how he is, one was from Zayn checking on him too...then there was one from an unknown number.

How are you reaching uni?? Need me to drop you? H

No thank you sir, i'll grab the bus

You sure?

Yes sir.

Okay. Take care. H

[seen]

Finally after reaching one of the close bus stops, he got into a bus and was on his way back to uni...fun.

All Louis wanted was to forget about harry, to not fall in love with him thats all he wanted.

————

It had been weeks of this, haley was getting closer to harry everyday, but only sexually, Louis was getting distant, emotionally too. Louis started talking more to sam, they became friends and he was grateful for that. Liam saw what was happening, he hated it. He wanted to tell harry what he's doing, how he's breaking the poor boy, but it wasn't his place. He'd walked past Louis room only to hear quiet sobs on the other side of the door every night. It broke him to see sweet Louis cry like this. The only light in this extremely dark cardboard box, was Niall and Zayn. They were falling more and more in love everyday and were not even slightly scared to show it. Louis was so happy for his best friend, Niall always wanted someone to love him for him, and Zayn did exactly that.

Louis doesn't talk to harry anymore, it's always one word answers or nods, he stopped eating and if his t-shirt was lifted you'd find that poor beautiful boy decorated with bright red scratch marks. He started cutting again, as much as he tried to punish himself for falling in love again...it just kept happening. He kept falling for harry, even though he didn't get any of harry's attention. He'd observe harry when he was at the table for meals, with haley sitting on his lap. He would see how happy he had become. He was happy that the love of his life was found someone he loved, or so Louis thought.

Harry hated it. He didn't notice much about Louis for the past few weeks because haley was taking a lot of his time, they were also very coupley, which harry didn't really care about cuz he didn't care about her that way. For him it was more of a friends with benefits thing. But it took a lot of his time, finally at one of their meals, he noticed Louis' new eating habits. His plate was already only half filled and from that he just moved the food around and took a few bites here and there. After that harry made sure to look at what Louis would eat, he noticed that every meal was the same. He wouldn't eat, just look at the food. Harry finally noticed Louis becoming thinner and paler. His clothes started pooling around him like harry's t-shirts once used to. Harry even once woke up to find Louis sitting in the garden alone. He watched him and noticed tears stream down his beautiful cheeks, which were also now gone. He thought that Louis might not like the food and so he figured out what Louis used to like and got the chef to cook it. He noticed Louis eyes light up just a bit when he saw the food, but he also noticed the way Louis seemed to have an internal battle and the bad side clearly won, seeing as Louis barely ate anything.

Sam, he just stayed there for Louis. He held him when he cried and took care of him, but even he saw how in love with harry Louis was. He hated it. It was now his soul mission to get Louis to fall in love with him. So he was going to be the best person possible. The complete opposite of harry.

Haley knew what she was doing. She felt nothing for Louis. She knew Louis and harry were supposed to be together. But did she care? clearly not. She saw the way Louis looked at harry, and she kissed him whenever that happened. She also had made the first move on harry and won. She knew she'd won. Louis just made it easier by giving up.

Niall and Zayn were the cheesiest couple there could be. They would go out for date nights and stay in and cuddle. Both of them noticed Louis' new behaviour. They way his eyes didn't light up anymore. But neither knew what to do. They tried to take him out, even just bring him out of his room. nothing. So they decide to just be there for him, their best friend. Zayn and Louis had gotten quite close during his stay at styles manor and Louis appreciated it. So he let them hold him when he was sad, which was quite a bit.

But he was still standing. Still staying strong. He wouldn't let what happened with max happen again. Yes there were cuts, yes there was blood on the bathroom floor, yes there were tears on his pillow. But he had to stay strong, for himself. He cant break again. So he focused on other things when haley and harry were being cuddly. He wrote, he wrote his heart out. They only thing he could confide to was his journal in which he wrote everything. He always hated journals and diaries. But he needed this. No more therapy for this big boy.

Things go on, they always do. Uni went on, life went on, scars were replaced with new ones. But here was where they were, this was their worst. they had to live thought it and they will, they always will. 

this ones a bit short cuz..well writing about Louis being sad hurts. I mean I relate to him more than I should. but hey! thats the best part about writing I guess? anyways 

hope you liked the chapter!!:)) and dudeeee 140 reads? this is amazinggg!!!!

(small rant)

omg the golden MV. im crying. 

ITS NOT ABOUT LOSERS OR WINNERS...BUT WE BLOODY WELL WON. 

okay i'm done. 

vote/comment? 

xx