𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙨 (𝙃.𝙥 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

Chapter 9

Y/n's POV

After Christmas break harry and I have not been able to stay away from each other, it's been the best year I've ever had at Hogwarts. Harry was tired after the quidditch game against Hufflepuff, he won it of course but it was a lot harder since Cedric Diggory was really close to catching the snitch. 

After the game, we came back to my room and I had treated him since he won. After that, we took a warm bath together and he fell asleep right as his head hit the pillow but of course he pulled me to his chest. Snuggling into me him as  I'm laying on his chest I was peacefully reading a book until I hear ( he said this while he was asleep)

" I love you y/n," He says gruffly pulling his arm together around my waist breathing me in.

I got up pushing his arms of my body and begin to pace around my room. Did I hear that right? Does he actually love me? Do I love him? No, I can't . I must have heard him wrong there's no way this could be happening, Right? 

Fuck I have no idea what I should do. This was not part of my plan, I thought he understood what this was. I can't allow him to love me, it will only hurt him more in the long run.

I have to distance myself I can't let him fall for me or even me for that matter. He has to realize I'm not right for him and never will be. He should find a kind, available, and compassionate lover. And I am not that, not even in the slightest. 

Maybe if he finds out I'm with someone else as well he will fall out of love with me. I advent been with anyone else since that time we first slept together. Who should I find? Not Draco I've already been with him it need to be someone else, someone worthy of him being upset over.

Cedric Diggory from huffelpuff I heard he fancy me, he even tried to flirt with me at the game however I payed no mind to it. I mean he's very handsome and everyone loves him, I could do it. Sleep with him and flaunt it by telling others about what we've done. 

Then harry will realize what this relationship is and will only every be. 

I feel a strain in my heart when I think about letting him go. Why do I feel this way? Maybe it's because I'm losing a friend? Or maybe it's because I may have strong feelings for him too. But It doesn't matter I can't let him in. I know he will get even more hurt if we stay together. 

I head to Draco's room so I can sleep peacefully without thinking about what Harry said. I open his door and get under his covers.

" Y/n what are doing here? " Draco says.

" I didn't want to be alone, " I say.

" Oh okay, " he says and pulls me close to his chest and cuddles me.

" Goodnight Draco, " I say.

" Goodnight Y/n, " He says. And we fall asleep.

Next Morning

I wake up in Draco's arms and pry my way out. I get up and change quickly. Ive alqsy had many spare clothes at dracos so it was easy to find an outfit. Walking through the castles walls I find myself at the black lake and sit for a while.

I can't believe how far I've allowed myself to care for this boy. I shouldn't have let it go this far. This is my fault, I fell for him and I fell hard. But I just need to correct it before it causes anymore damage. I feel a wetness on my face and I realize it's tears. I don't know why but I'm crying. I never cry. This is such a weird thing for me to do me but I decide to just let it all out.

I sit there just admiring the lake letting my thoughts and emotions roam free.

(6 hours later)