𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙨 (𝙃.𝙥 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

Chapter 26

Harry's Pov

24 days

13 hours

13 minutes

And 27 seconds

Since the last time I saw her

That was the last day I was happy

People say everything happens for a reason but her and I not being together wasn't something I expected.

I always thought she and I were meant to be. Ever since I first saw the beautiful girl at the 9 3/4 platform. She could tell I was nervous so she smiled so big that it made my 11-year-old heart melt. She grabbed my hand and walked me straight through the wall.

She didn't seem to have any family with her. So when we went through the wall my family followed closely behind I couldn't say anything to her because she made me so nervous until my dad nudged me to say something.

I accidentally said she was the prettiest girl I've ever seen with a hurried thank you at the same time. She giggled a bit and said no problem then walked off to the person I now know as Malfoy. Even then I was entranced by her and I was only 11.

She looked back one more time when I was hugging my parents and for a second she looked confused but went on. The whole time when I was saying goodbye to my family I couldn't stop thinking about her. Her hair her smile, her giggle, her. My dad and Sirius kept teasing me about the whole thing and I may have told them I was going to marry her.

My mom started to tear up and said " What have you taught him, James, "

And then Sirius said, " Yeah that's James' son, ".

While my dad whispered in my ear and said " If you want to marry her, then don't give up because then maybe you'll get yourself a flower, " He went up and kissed my mom on the cheek while putting an arm around her waist.

" It only took him six years, " Sirius said jokingly

" And it was all worth it, " My dad said

I know it sounds stupid, that I actually thought I'd be with my first love.

But from the moment I met her, I knew she was my flower.

I do not regret any time I spent with her because without her I would have never known what it was like to be in love.

Even if it wasn't real for her.

Hermione and ron kept telling me about how she didn't have a choice and she does love me. But in all reality, everyone has a choice unless, it was a life or death situation, which I guarantee it's not the case.

What I don't understand is how she could keep up this charade for this long. How does one pretend to be in love with someone? What pleasure did it bring her? Was it seeing me heartbroken? Or was it just sex?

It started off as just sex and I know I shouldn't have been mad at her when she fooled around will Diggory. I knew what we were yet I acted like she cheated on me.

Yet it hurt worse than a bludger to the head when she was with him.

She had told me she had a sexual relationship with Malfoy but I guess the 11-year-old me hoped that I finally got my flower. When in all reality I got a thorn.

Did she ever cheat on me? When we were actually together? Does our relationship even classify as a relationship?

These are the thoughts that have been running through my mind for the past 24 days. This is worse than when she first broke my heart or when I broke my own.

I've been in my dorms sulking in the same pajamas getting up to only use the bathroom then lay back in my bed. And every day ron comes in and tries to talk to me and distract me but all I can think about is her and how much I miss her.

I miss when she ran her fingers through my hair. Or when she would hold me at night if I had a nightmare, or I wasn't feeling good. I miss her head on my chest as I hold her close, when she was in my arms it felt like I could protect her from anything and anyone.

And it sucks to realize it wasn't real.

I love and hate waking up in the mornings because then I forget that im not with her anymore. For that split second, I think that we're still together and I look for her in my bed. And when I don't find her I remember.

I was disrupted by my thought when a pillow hit my head " Get. Your. Ass. Up, " Ron says hitting the pillow over and over again

I grab the pillow and hit him while saying " Stop. Hitting. Me, "

" Bloody hell mate, you don't have to kill me, " He says dramatically

" Well don't hit me while im sleeping, " I say getting onto my bed but not before throwing the pillow at the redhead

" You weren't sleeping, you were sulking, " He says and when I don't say anything he continues on with " Come on mate you've been in here for 24 days, you can't stay in here forever, "

" Watch me, " I say covering my face with my blanket

" No! No! No more, " Ron says pulling the covers off me and pulling me out of the bed by my leg

" Billy, are you really going to do this to me? " I say

" What have I told you about calling me by my middle name, " he says looking down at me " And yes I am going to do this to you, but it's only because I care,"

"Well stop caring, " I say looking up at him " And technically I didn't call you by your middle name it's a nickname since your real middle name is billius and you said I couldn't call you that, "

" Well, it doesn't work that way. I can't stop caring about you just cause you said too. Just like you can't stop loving Y/n no matter how much you tell yourself to, " Ron says

" That was an unnecessary comment, " I say

" Did I lie? " ron says

" Shut the fuck up, " I say

" Nooooo I don't think I will, " Ron says

" What do you want anyway? What was so important my beauty sleep was rudely interrupted, " I say

" I'm glad you asked!" Ron says looking at me " We're going to Hogsmeade, "

"No, we're not, " I say

" Good thing I wasn't asking, " Ron says " We're going and that's final, "

And let's just say he wasn't kidding. I was practically forced to go with him or else he said and I quote " If you don't go, I will shove your broom so far up your ass you" ll be able to taste the wood, " And at first I thought he was joking but that was until he grabbed my broom and he actually tried to shove it up my ass but he stopped when I said I'd go.

So I guess im finally leaving my dorm. I hope I at least will have some fun and not see Y/n.