A Wolf's Desires

20.

Home is where your heart is but sometimes it's not always your heart, it where the people that fill your heart with love are.
Lex Everlin.

Billie Martin ~ Bird.

Train.

It was late afternoon when I parked my car in the driveway to my parents house, I didn't find time to lock the car, I just ran in and didn't care what else. "Mom!" I cried out and she came walking down the stairs her ever warm smile present. "Mom." I choked on my tears.

"Oh, sweetheart." She opened her arms for me and like a child, I clung to her with tears trailing down my cheeks, I couldn't contain it, I felt so betrayed, unwanted, so I let out all that I was feeling. "It was horrible mom, they abandoned me." I cried out and she held me.

"It hurts so much mom, it hurts, mom make it stop hurting." I cried out and she only held me tighter. " It's alright baby mommy's got you, I will take the pain away I'm right here don't you worry, I'm right here." I kept crying as she soothed me, and I clung to her for dear life.

A pair of strong arms engulfed us both and I knew that scent ever since I was a pup. "Dad." I choked on my tears as both my parents held me in their embrace, dad it hurts so much, it's hur—." I broke down all over again. "I'm here champ let it out." I didn't need to hide my feelings or tears from them, I didn't need to be strong or brave, they didn't raise me like that, they loved me and taught me to be a better man.

In their arms I cried, cried for all the pain meeting Fred had caused, years of feeling abandoned came back, the pain of knowing my parents didn't want me and knew I was there but never came once not even just to see me and let me know they loved me, none of it, and it hurt so badly.

I didn't know how to move on from something like this, I only knew my parents would make it better, they were my constant, they held my hand when I fell, embraced my flaws, and accepted me for who I was, I wasn't born to them but at times I wish I had been so that I didn't have to go through all the pain that I do now, I hated the pain.

"Mom I—." I choked again feeling my tears come again and I broke down, she didn't care if I got her dirty she just held me, I could feel dad's tears on my neck as he too held me, when I cried he hurt as well, he was the best father I could ever have, he celebrated with me, enjoyed my moments with me and cried with me when I was sad and never failed to show me he loved me.

So I clung to them, I clung to my home and the parents that loved me before I even loved myself. As I finally calmed down, dad picked me up in his arms and we made it upstairs to my old room and he laid me on the bed right next to him, I fell asleep as he soothed my aching heart with a lullaby.

Today had been nerve wrecking for me, and all I wanted was to feel peace again, to feel better, to let go of the pain I felt, and to just have no inner turmoil, no headaches because I no longer had tears to cry.

When I woke up dad was gone but his scent still lingered on the bed and on my clothes, I turned to look at the shirt I was wearing and the pants, probably one of my parents changed me from what I was wearing. I smiled at the thought, my head no longer throbbed and my heart no longer felt as if it was constricting, I felt better taking in the scent of heavy male musk and the scent of fresh rain and daisies, it was weird how dad smelled like daisies.

It was always weird even now, I made my way downstairs where there was chatter in the kitchen, my mate and my brothers were there, along with our parents. "Hey peanut." Linden waddled to me and I hugged him taking in his scent, it was always calming, I bent down to his stomach and kissed it. "Oh they're kicking." He held on to me and I placed my hand on his stomach.

"Hey guys I'm your uncle." I mumbled and another kick, damn these kids were definitely alphas they kicked a lot. "Damn that's my ribcage." Linden cried out and I chuckled as mom came over and soothed her pregnant son in law. "Oh my, this is how Emric was too, he was a mean kicker, used my bladder as cushion to bounce on." She chortled rubbing Linden's back.

"I'm close to popping any day now I can literally feel it." He mumbled the response to mom and she nodded too. Emric winked at me and went back to playing his game, I knew it was the we will talk later wink and I moved to my mate. "I'm sorry." He mumbled and I led him to the library.

"I'm so sorry." I held him as he cried in my arms, I knew he held felt what I felt, and heard some of the things Fred had said, it was hurtful I knew, so I let him cry it out. "We're okay starfish, we're okay." I reassured as I held him close. "Parents are just whackjobs huh." He chortled. "Not all of them." I replied with a chuckle. "True, not all of them." He conceded as nothing more was said between us only our kisses conveyed it all.

"I love you." He whispered. "And I'm in love with you Andrew Krest." I responded and he smiled to it. "I think I wanna be an Everlin now, my surname is a little too depressing." He corrected and I placed a kiss on his forehead. "That can easily be arranged." I replied kissing him again.

"Let's have dinner, your mom made curry." He announced after we parted our lips and we made our back to the lounge where Emric was talking to his kids and Linden was talking to my father. "Those three are in a world of their own, you might as well help me set the table." Mom asserted and we got to work helping my mom with the dinner table.

"You feeling better sweetheart?" Mom asked with a smile and I nodded enthusiastically. "Good, never forget what your father says, home is where the people who fill your heart—." I cut her off. "Who fill your heart with love are." I finished for her and she smiled. "Exactly, I'm always here for you, all of you." She added placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Lex darling dinner, Linden is probably starving!" Mom called out and Emric carried his mate to the dinner table, on one end dad sat and the other Emric, mom took the right seat by dad and so did Linden, I sat next to the pregnant man and Andie next to my mother. "This is so good." I exclaimed shoving more curry down my throat.

"Whoa babe slow down, its all yours." Starfish reprimanded and my cheeks turned red with embarrassment, but who could blame me I was a wolf, a very hungry wolf, and my mother makes some good curry like seriously good curry.

"Have you thought of baby names yet?" I asked Linden and he shook his head. "Haven't had time, we've been busy dealing with Davey, Tai, and Fred, along with Turner, it's been a full plate lately and really hard to keep up but hopefully we will come up with something." Emric replied as he fed Linden.

"Okay, I have suggestions but I will air them in two days." My mate spoke up and I remembered he has a surprise baby shower for Linden, I get to see my favorite alpha and his mate, as chatter at the table went on, I realized that I was happy right where I was, my decision to make sure Fred wasn't part of my life had been the right one for me and I was happy with that, I had everything I wanted.

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I was listening to Billie Eilish - Everything I wanted and Billie Martin - Bird, when I wrote this chapter, and the songs just evoked a lot of emotion from me and I hope you felt it too.

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LMJ