CHAPTER 36: I lost her forever

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Broken.

I know she is hurt but she can't be like this.

"Bella say something. Please."

"What do you want me to say Liam? S-She is no more. She is not coming back to me. I-I lost her Liam, forever." She again broke down into tears.

"Bella." I held her hand.

"No." She pulled away her hand from me and pushed me away from herself. "You lied to me Liam. You lied to me. You said that you'll protect her. You said that you won't let anything happen to her. I trusted you Liam."

I know.

"I-I tried Bella."

She shook her head. "No."

She started hitting my chest with her hands "I trusted you."

"Bella."

She kept hitting me.

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

She stopped hitting me and hid her face on my chest crying her heart out. I wrapped my hands around her waist.

"Why did she had to go Liam? Why?"

I didn't know what to say. I stayed quiet, hugging her. I didn't know how to comfort her, how to calm her down.

I don't think that I can calm her down even if I try. How can she not cry? She was everything to her.

Pulling away from the hug, I wiped her tears but they just weren't stopping. I opened the door for her she sat down. I went to my side.

While we were going home, she already fell asleep while crying. When we finally reached, I picked her up in my arms and went inside. Laying her on the bed, I went downstairs, asking Maria to serve food for Bella, I took the food to our room. When I entered the room, she was not on the bed. I looked around to see her standing in front of the window, looking out.

Taking a deep breath I called her "Bella."

She didn't reply.

Keeping the food on the table, I went to her. I stood behind her but she didn't turn around. Pulling her arm I made her look at me. I cupped her face in my hand "Bella, you need to eat something."

She shook her head, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Your Nanny wouldn't like to see you in this condition. Would she?"

She looked down.

"And she will always stay with you Bella."

"I am not a kid Liam. You can't say these things to me."

"Okay you are not a kid. But right now you need to eat something, or you'll get sick. Please Bella just have something. You have not eaten anything since morning."

"I am not hungry."

"Yes you are." I held her hand and walked towards the couch. I made her sit on the couch and sat beside her, she placed her head on my shoulder and wrapped her hands around my arm while I was feeding her. After feeding her I carried her to the bed and laid her down. I was about to leave when she held my hand and said "Liam. Will you please take me to the apartment tomorrow?"

Though I didn't want to but I nodded. She would feel sad if she goes there but then she was her Nanny.

"But after the funeral." I said.

Closing her eyes she tried to sleep, I sat on the couch looking at her making sure that she doesn't think much. When I saw she was asleep, I went out of the room and made my way towards Ryan's room. When I entered I saw Ryan sitting on the bed with his teddy in his hand and lost in his dreamland. I went closer to him and picked him up making him snap out of whatever he was thinking.

I settled him on my lap, and asked "What is it? Why are you sad?"

He shook his head.

"Ryan, what is it?"

"Dad, Mommy is sad."

"Yes, she is. But she is hurt."

"Why is she hurt? Did something happen to her Nanny?" He asked worriedly.

I took a deep breath then picked him up in my arms making my way towards the window.

"You see the stars up there?"

He nodded.

"They are beautiful right?"

He nodded again.

"So the thing is that, Mommy's Nanny is now one of them."

"You mean one of the stars?" He asked.

I nodded "She'll be watching Mommy from up there."

"Really?" He then thought something. "She'll be watching all of us too?"

"Yes. Everyone."

"Then Dad, Why is Mommy sad?"

"Can you touch the stars?"

"No."

"So Mommy is sad because she can't touch her Nanny now, she can't hug her or kiss her. Her Nanny is now a long distance away from her."

He nodded with a sad face.

"But you know what only one person can make her feel better."

His face lit up "Really? Who's it?"

"You."

"Me?"

I nodded. "Mommy loves you Ryan. She can never be sad if Ryan talks to her."

He nodded. "Then I'll go and talk to her."

He was about to jump from my arms when I stopped him. "Not now. Mommy is asleep now. Maybe tomorrow."

He nodded.

"But you can do one thing."

"What?"

"You can go and sleep with Mommy."

A wide smile plastered on his face.

"So let's go." I took him to our room. He laid beside Bella, then looked at her. Switching off the lights I went and laid beside Ryan.

He kissed Bella's cheek. "I love you to infinity Mommy."

I smiled.

"Now come on, sleep." I said.

He nodded and held Bella.

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Oh God!! This hurts so much😭

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