Bill Skarsgård Imagines

what am i? | roman

As her teen years went on, closing in on adulthood, a strong sensation of yearning started to form in (Y/N)'s gut. What she yearned for, she couldn't quite figure out but the one thing she did know, was that it was a hunger. A hunger for something dark and very unusual.

The sensation started to grow when she was seventeen. (Y/N) was having a bath deep into the night when she started to hear it. The blood pulsing through her veins, calling out to her. She wasn't in any state of unease or depression to a point where she'd want to inflict harm on herself to feel something. This was something completely different. She had a strong curiosity to see the blood drip from her arm. 

(Y/N) picked up a razor blade from the side of the bathtub and gently glided it along her skin where the warm, crimson liquid began to drip down her hand and into the clear water, instantly turning it red. She smiled down at it as her stomach growled and she felt herself salivate. That's when she got the sudden feeling to taste it. Climbing out of the bathtub she walked over to the fogged mirror where she stood before it, her hair matted down to her head and water pooling around her feet. She looked at herself with a small smirk then dipped her finger in the blood and lifted it to her mouth, painting it on her lips. When she gave it a small taste, it felt as though she had just gone years and years without eating and needed more. It was the sweetest thing to ever encounter her palette and something she felt she couldn't get enough of.

Then it suddenly her. 

"What the fuck have I just done?" She asked herself, stumbling back a little as she looked at her stained lips then down at the blood as it continued to drip from the fresh cut.

(Y/N) felt disgusted with herself. She now saw herself as one thing and one thing only; a monster.

Feeling confined and at a loss for breath, (Y/N) decided to quickly patch up her arm and change into some dry clothes before stepping out into the icy winter night.

The second she took a step outside, she brought in a deep breath of the fresh air, hoping it to bring her some clarity, maybe wake her up if this was a nightmare. She soon realized that this was no nightmare and her having a hunger for blood was very much her reality. It scared her more than anything. 

The following day at school, (Y/N) was sat in her History class. She was trying with all her might to focus on the teachers monotone voice as she lectured on the Civil War but all she could manage to focus on was the pounding and pulsing of the blood running through the veins off her classmates around her. It made her sick and dizzy. The final straw was when they turned the page of their textbooks and the girl sitting next to (Y/N) got herself a deep papercut. On the brink of losing control of herself, (Y/N) rises from her chair, covering her nose with her the back of her hand and stumbles out of the classroom, running into desks and students as she does so.

"Ms. (Y/L/N), where are you going?" The teacher called out as the entire classed watched (Y/N) disappear in confusion. 

(Y/N) pushes through the main doors and into the winter day, snow blanketing the ground and trees of Hemlock Grove. That's when she starts to panic. (Y/N) starts to hyperventilate as her entire body goes numb and tears begin pouring from her eyes.

'What's wrong with me?' She thinks. 

"(Y/N), right?" A velvety voice speaks from behind her.

Startled, (Y/N) swings around in complete disarray to see Roman Godfrey from History class stood against a lamp post, smoking a cigarette. 

"I-I really need to be alone right now," she says, bent over a flower pot as she feels she's about to heave up all the contents of her stomach.

"Started with the the hole inside of you, right? A big, black empty hole that no matter what you tried to fill it with, it just gets bigger and bigger," he says, taking a deep drag of his cigarette then dropping it to the ground and putting it out with his loafer.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" She asks him, almost not being able to focus on a word he's saying as her head starts to pound and her vision blurs.

"Then it goes to hearing it course through the veins of everyone around you, wanting nothing but to sink your teeth into their throat and rip it out," he goes on.

(Y/N) looks up at him now scared for her life even though she knows he's right. Everything he's describing is exactly how she's been feeling. 

"Are you going to kill me?" She asks him.

Roman chuckles, looking down at his feet and shaking his head as he steps up to her. 

"You'd be dead already," he says and that only makes her fear grow even more and he notices. "No, I'm not going to kill you, (Y/N). I'm going to help you."

(Y/N) looks up at him, her brows curved into a confused frown. "Help me with what?" She asks.

"Everything you're going through right now, I went through too," he says.

With the look in his emerald eyes, she knows she can confide in him and although she's never talked to him before, she suddenly gets this feeling of a deep connection between them. The tears return as she drops her head into her hands.

"What's wrong with me, Roman? All I can think about is blood. All I want is blood. Like, what the fuck?" She says and Roman drops down to her, hesitantly placing his hand on her back and rubbing soothing circles. Comforting people does not come naturally to Roman's usual cold and stern appearance but for her, it just came upon him. It felt right.

"I know, (Y/N), I get it. I was in the same boat as you just a few months ago but what sucked the most is I kind of had to go through it alone. But, that's not gonna happen with you, okay? I'll be here every step of the way," he says.

"But what am I, Roman?" She asks him.

Roman takes a deep breath. "An Upir," he says.

She looks at him crookedly, at a complete loss for words.

"Here, come with me." He helps her up and pulls her to staircase that leads down to the boiler room. Inside, he picks up a bag that's been stored down here as no one ever uses these stairs anymore, and pulls out a bag of blood. (Y/N) knows she should be disgusted and scared but all she can think about is how fucking delicious that blood is going to taste sliding down her throat.

"Here," he hands it to her as she takes a seat on one of the steps. "You need to feed."

Waiting a beat, Roman sighs impatiently. "It's this or losing control and ripping some innocent fucks throat out later."

The hunger takes control of her as she takes the bag from him and sinks her teeth into it, taking the cool, sweet liquid in large gulps. Roman watches with a smile.

When she's satisfied and finished, she tosses the empty bag to the ground and looks up into Roman's pleased eyes.

"So, you're gonna help me?" She asks him.

Roman takes the seat next to her, their arms and legs pressed together. "You're not alone anymore, (Y/N). I'm here with you, okay?"

(Y/N) then acts without really thinking and drops her head onto his shoulder as it suddenly comes naturally. 

"Okay."