Continuing the cycles

{•The first kiss•}

-This is a flashback to when they first started dating-

Autumn-

"I'm scared Bri" I fiddled with my nails nervously

"I know it's gonna go great just call me if you need anything"

"I know but since that thing happened with my grandpa-"

"I know Autumn but you gotta let it go" she grabbed my hand I looked out the window of her moms car we were going to Scene 75 for our first date I smiled to myself as I thought about Lucas

"Okay we're here remember the rules text me when y'all are done and have fun!" Brianna's mixed her mom is white and her dad is black her dad died last year and it's been tough for them since and her mom is depressed so she lets Brianna do whatever she wants.

"Bye mommy mwah" she kissed her

"Bye Mrs.Thomas" I hugged her as I got out the car I fixed my shirt as I looked down at myself

"Love you guys bye"

"Love you too" we said in unison

"Okay now we gotta find Lucas and Dom" she cheesed I looked at her unsure if I wanted to go in there

"Come on Autumn you can't chicken out now" she pouted

"Okayy fine" I sighed I didn't know what I was getting myself in to... I grabbed her hand as we slowly walked into scene 75 I looked around as I spotted Lucas and his friend Dominique that's Brianna's boyfriend Ironically they're best friends and so are we.

"Hey Baby" he hugged me and he put his hand on my lower back I felt myself tense up but then slowly adapt to his touch I pulled away and irrationally I kissed him and he kissed me back

"Hey babe" I said as I pulled away as I foolishly smiled

"Y'all ready to get beat in these games" Don said as he and Bri held hands

"No the question is are y'all ready to get beat by us we may be little but we got hands" I said as me and Bri laughed Lucas smirked at me and I grabbed his hand as we walked to the drop tower in the middle of the arcade as we stood in line I looked up at him in admiration I can't believe he's interested in me

"He doesn't want you" said the voice in my head I turned away from Lucas as tears fell from my face I breathed in and out

"Not right now" I inhaled

"You okay babe?" He looked at me in concern I wiped the tears from my eyes as I turned to him and shook my head no my chest was heaving up and down and I couldn't breath before I knew it I was bawling my eyes out and I couldn't control it I covered my ears and cried loudly people turned around and stared at me like I was crazy which wasn't helping

"You'll never amount to anything"

"You look fat"

"He doesn't really want you he only wants you for that thing but oh didn't you grandpa get to it first?"

"He'll never want you after he knows your little secret" my inner thoughts consumed me

"Stop!" I cried Lucas grabbed me and held me close as he pulled me out the line and into the women's restroom

"Shhh baby what's going on?" He held my arms

"I don't know" I cried

"How long have this been happening?"
He wiped my tears he went in the stall and grabbed some tissue I took it from his hands and wiped my snotty nose and damped eyes

"I don't know a couples of months ago" I said as my breathing steadied

"Lucas I'm sorry I ruined our date-"

"Hey it's okay Autumn I'm here for you" he grabbed my hands I smiled at him

"You wanna go home?" He asked

"I- I can't go home" I shook my head as I looked away from him He moved my chin gently to make me look at him

"Do you want to come with me?" I nodded my head He helped me off the counter I fixed my pants and my shirt I rubbed my nose as I breathed in and out Bri came in the bathroom

"Hey Lucas texted me what happened" she looked to Lucas letting him know we needed some alone time Lucas left the bathroom

I sat back down and held my head in my hands and let all my tears go

"Autumn you can't let him control you"

"He ruined my life he took everything from me how can I not let him control me he turned my family against me I can't even let someone touch me anymore" I cried

"I know baby I know but you gotta let him go Autumn you have to let it stay in the past"

"I know and I'm sorry but it's hard I'm trying so hard"

"I think you need to see a therapist to get evaluated" she told me I nodded ever since I was given to him I haven't been the same something broke inside of me or something unleashed and it's something I can't surprise anymore I heard my phone go off I dug in my purse for it and it was a text message from Lucas saying "I'm outside." I sighed and wiped my tears

"I gotta go love you tell your mom I'm getting a ride for me please" I hugged her and walked out the bathroom

I looked for Lucas's Chevrolet Camero I walked further into the parking lot and saw him in his car I walked up to the car and opened the door I watched as he bopped his head to the music I looked straight ahead

"C-Can you take me home" I stuttered

"You don't wanna go home with me?"

"I- Lucas I can't right now I'm not in the right mind-"

"Okay" he said irritatedly

"I'm sorry-"

"I said okay okay now drop it" he cut me off with bass in his voice I sat back in my chair as we were left in an awkward silence

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to raise my voice at you Autumn" he ran his hands down his face I looked down at my feet

"You know I would never hurt you right?" He looked me in my eyes

"Yea I know" I lightly smiled but little did I know all he could do was hurt me.

I sat at ease as I thought about our first kiss.

Heyy I'm sorry I haven't been that active school has been stressful but I hope you guys had a good day I love you guys sending love and positivity😘✨