FATE

85. The Tape

JONAH

She hums and takes a deep breath, throwing her hand towards me. I push myself back and watch as it falls then my gaze shifts back to her face. Her eyes are closed, her head looks uncomfortable when she's sleeping with pigtails and she's sleeping on one arm. If she's not careful, I'm afraid she'll wake up tomorrow with pains everywhere.

I glance outside the window. It's already dark. I'm guessing it's past midnight. I wonder if I'll be allowed to carry baby Lauren back to her room- not that i want to. I'm okay with her being right here. I'll just sleep on the couch.

I grab the second blanket on the bed and a pillow, standing to head towards the couch. On the way, i notice Lauren's bag lying on the floor below the bed.

I drop the blanket and pillow, glancing at Lauren for a bit before picking up the bag. Then i open the little compartment and take the drawing out.

"Mom?"

"What?", baby Lauren asked.

I cleared my throat, "sorry, i meant- this is your mom?"

"Yup", she nodded.

"Where is she?", i cocked my head and asked.

She stretched her hand to collect the painting back, "dead", her tone was sober.

That's not possible.

"How do you know that's your mom?", i needed to ask as many questions as i could.

"I saw the video"

"What video?"

"The video tape in aunt Jeanne's office", she laid back on the bed, "mommy was in it", she pointed at the drawing, "and i was a baby and we were playing"

Jeanne...

"Do you like it?", baby Lauren asked.

"Like what?"

"The drawing"

I hesitated before answering but then she smiled and i smiled back, "its a beautiful drawing Lauren"

She giggled because she knew it was true.

I slip the red ribbon off and stare at the painting again. Maybe she saw a video of mom playing with her like she used to do for the other kids and got confused. That has to be it because this is too big of a secret and it looks like i knew nothing about my mom at all.

But baby Lauren is too smart to assume something like that. Wait, this is the same girl who thought I couldn't walk because I didn't stand for a while. I'm honestly not surprised but i need to be sure.

I need to get that tape.

I glance between Lauren and the drawing. Do they look alike? Besides the blue eyes, i don't really think they do. If she's my mom's child, then why is she here? Why not at home with my father and i? Or with Aunt Wendy? Why is she up for adoption?

The whole thing makes no sense.

I roll the drawing back and tie the ribbon around it perfectly before slipping it back into the bag.

I walk towards the window and look out, staring at the stars in the sky. They twinkle and disappear for a while before appearing again, brighter than ever. The moon shines just enough to cast it's glow on the ground below, highlighting the dullest features of the night. From the window, i can see fireflies on the grass. Its been a while since i've seen fireflies. They're so beautiful.