FATE

19. Friends And Bookshelves

JONAH

I have always felt untouchable since my mom died. I made myself feel that way. That feeling that comes with a sense of invisibility, like no one can see your weaknesses or hurt you. I turned myself into that person who couldn't be touched. But the weirdest thing happened today...

I felt vulnerable.

Britney was constantly saying things to piss Brooke off during the game. I don't get involved in girl fights. I have always found them to be unnecessary but something about the way Brooke's shoulders slumped when Britney spoke to her didn't sit well with me.

I really hope she knows that she didn't have to change herself to fit in. I thought I could tolerate having Britney around, long enough until next week but after today, I can't do it, not after she disrespected Brooke-

-who had to go be with her friends and bookshelves in the library. A part of me didn't want her to go. Scratch that, every single part of me wanted to keep on talking to her. It made me feel weak, like her presence was something I just didn't want but also needed.

I felt vulnerable and I'm not sure if I like it or not.

When you need something, it becomes a necessity, something you can't do without, like an addiction. There's a high chance you could break down or possibly die if it's ever taken away from you. I can't be even more broken than I already am and for this reason, I feel like Brooke might be dangerous to me

But I want to watch her in silence, when she is unaware that I am, when she's being her normal self and going about her normal activities unaware that there's someone out there falling for her every awkward move.

Falling.

Am I falling for Brooke?

No, that can't be.

"Hey stranger", I look up to find Hailee walking up to me. "The period is over so everyone went to their next classes. Is something wrong? You look weird. Want to skip class and talk about it?"

She knows me too well.

"You're just looking for excuse to skip class", I say as we begin to walk towards the bleachers.

"Yeah but you look like someone stole your food so now I'm worried"

I sigh, "touché"

"So, what's up? Talk to me"

We arrive at the bleachers and sit on them, glancing around in case there's anyone around. I won't want anyone bothering me right now.

"What does it mean to like someone Hailee?", I hope she can give me answer. Girls are supposed to know about things like this but considering the type of girl Hailee is, I would be surprised if she gave me an answer that wasn't 'I don't know'.

"Do you like someone?", I can hear the slight excitement in her voice.

"No Hailee, I'm just trying to put pieces together for something", I say and chuckle when she pouts. "So, answer me"

"I don't know", she says and I almost facepalm myself, "when you really care about someone I guess"

"Like I care about you?", I ask, turning to face her.

"No silly, in a different way like you always want to be around this person, hold them, make them happy and stuff. I don't know really but it's probably like it was in that movie Brooke made us watch.

Love makes you as stupid as those two were."

Did she really have to bring up Brooke?

"Movies are a terrible reference for real life feelings", I say, facing the field