chapter 19 - raconteur

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" i love you as certain dark things are
to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and
the soul. "

-pablo neruda, sonnet XVII

☞☞☞

[ sanji ]

SHE WAS PRETTY IN THE WAY AUTUMN IS. With her orange hair that shined rose-gold under the sun, her earthy-eyes like twin garnets and her ferocious temper.

Their first date was foiled by a thunderstorm, but she dragged him by the arms and danced in the rain and he thought maybe the heavy raindrops were a blessing.

Though the flu after definitely was not. The first time they kissed was sweet and warm and gentle, and the first time they slept together had Sanji waking up in the middle of the night screaming from his nightmares.

She comforted him with her pale arms around his neck, her warmth seeping through him but not enough.

Even the second and third and the rest of week; she was perfect, but it didn't feel right.

Something was missing, and he couldn't understand why. He was hungry for something, but he didn't know what.

It was the first night in perhaps ten something days which he hadn't shared dinner with his roommate and it was a strange fusion of nostalgia and something foreign and cold.

His roommate was the cold. Zoro was normally curt and quiet, and tonight he was curter and silent.

"Is the pasta to your liking?" The blond tried for conversation, but he only got a nod in reply.

The clinking of silverware and the slurping from his tanned roommate was weighing heavily on his chest.

"Where were you these days?" Zoro suddenly asked, before the blond could try one of his conservation starters.

"My girlfriend's," The blond replied with a grin, relieved that the tension eased to become more comfortable. "I'm dating Nami from business statistics."

Zoro didn't say anything else and the blond's smile fell. He wanted their old comfortable relationship back, and he didn't know what went wrong.

"I'm sorry," the blond said, thinking perhaps his roommate's anger was from his inconsideration. "-that I didn't tell you about it."

The tanned boy looked up from his carbonara to meet his sky-blue eyes with his depthless ebony ones and Sanji could feel his soul being dragged into those abysses.

"It's fine." He said it in a way it wasn't.

Sanji thought there was only one way to resolve the unspoken between them; by making him speak with alcohol.

"Drink with me." The blond said, his eyes not allowing his tanned roommate to refuse.

He mixed lemon juice and honey and a lot of vodka to two tall glasses and set them on the table.

"Are you angry with me?" Sanji asked, with Zoro chugging at the vodka.

"Angry?" Zoro spoke with a smirk. "I'm not angry."

But the embers in your eyes speak different, was what the blond wished to say but he didn't.

"Really." Sanji shrugged as he clinked his glass with Zoro's and downed it.

They drank in silence, but it wasn't as awkward as before. The tanned roommate stopped looking away and met his gaze, and set his glass on the table.

"I'm sorry if you think that way." Zoro's gaze was unwavering. "It just hurts me that someone I love is loving someone else."

Sanji's throat burnt from the alcohol displaced forcefully from it as he spurted it out, coughing and hackling.

"You...what?"

Zoro calmly took another large gulp of his alcohol.

"I love you, you stupid ero-cook."








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