41.

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it has been months since the beach party. the both of them became more comfortable— going on to dates as long as they could and of course continuing sessions but with love and affection towards each other. it was no longer reticent, their love, that is.

but for the past few weeks, haruto and jeongwoo wasn't able to meet as frequent as they could. there was no one to blame except haruto and his busy schedules with things he promised not to get involved. jeongwoo was free, he had all the time, and haruto knew so well that the male has been wanting and patiently waiting for them to reunite and spend the day with just the two of them, with nothing interrupting them.

he could, just a few more days, and a few more convincing.

"mister watanabe, your mother has asked for your presence in the dining hall this evening—" a loud sound of disapproval was heard which caused the trembling butler to stop his statement and stepped aside for the male to sashay.

it has been days since he's been coming back in forth from his mansion to his apartment. but no matter how hard he tries to escape, and convince himself to bear with it for a little more, but he just can't find himself staying for the whole day and even sleep under the estate.

and considering the fact that his father has came back after a long business trip in japan, he knew this was the only chance to convince him to end everything and live with him. just him.

for some reason, he isn't afraid of any authorative persons who has higher ranks than him except for his father. and he sure knew it isn't easy work. in truth, he had to practice whatever script he has made up just to break through his tough demeanor and let them be by himself for the rest of the years.

haruto entered the ever so familiar mansion, seeing more maids and servants roaming around in distress and anxiety to prepare everything right for the grandiose dinner and welcoming party prepared for his father. he still has a long time, he checked, and so he proceeded to his vacant room and decided to spend the day in isolation as he waits for the time to pass.

a few hours later and it was already dark outside, only to be called by another servant to inform that his father is already home and is downstairs. he then fixed himself, trying to appear as formal and businessman like as he stood in the mirror. his fast heartbeat and slightly trembling hands doesn't help either. he knew if he'd make a mistake, he'll lose him.

he quickly made his way downstairs, trying to keep as aplomb as he could, finally seeing his father standing with a few briefcases beside him as he embraced his own mother. it was only until his sister noticed his presence before pointing out to him in joy, eager to see him once again after a few more months.

all eyes were on him the moment everyone noticed his presence, and traipsing towards the aisle, he immediately greeted his father with a smile and hugged him as a welcome although he doesn't want to.

they settled down after a few minutes for dinner, however, haruto was only perpelexed when they did not start diving it once everyone was already sat down the cushions. only to hear a doorbell, haruto widened his eyes upon seeing the unexpected visitor.

there stood a familiar motherly figure, next to him was the person who triggered all of his blood to boil in disgust and repugnance. since when was she out of the hospital?

haruto stood up as a matter of hospitality, seeing his parents greet the visitor who shouldn't be welcomed, at least for him, to enter this territory and have the guts to tie with their family. and when his and the lass' eyes met, he could only find himself to greet her with the most reluctant hug and a kiss on the cheek for a welcome, as if he was obliged to do so. and he despised it.

they finally settled after a hectic exchange of greetings that continued to irritate haruto's patience. he couldn't have the strength to insert in their stupid conversation— he couldn't afford it. heck, he couldn't even eat in peace just by feeling a certain gaze set upon him for a prolonged period.

it was until they finally arrived at the topic he sincerely never wanted to hear in this supossedly peaceful night, where he could've just skipped the dinner and spent the night with jeongwoo instead. yet he couldn't find the strength and the timing to excuse himself and run away for whatever time has it been.

"akari is getting better after the treatment, maybe we could discuss further about their future?" he heard akari's mother laugh in the most annoying way as he could pick up. and haruto never had ever, had the strength to meet each of their manipulative gazes.

"that's a good thing to hear! i am pleased to discuss of course, i'm sure haruto will never oppose to—" it was as if all the control and patience he tried to contain inside his sanity has broke out and overflowed, slamming the table in disquietude, meeting each of their carefree gazes with a pair of ferocious ones.

"i oppose."

it was inevitable, a moment of silence matched with unsaid shock and disappointment. but who are them to judge and manipulate his freedom, decision, and the right to speak? it was as if haruto was completely driven in anger, no matter how much he try to calm himself just by thinking of the other male who never fails to trigger the tranquility inside him. it was all lost, in a void— with nothing but replaced with pure hatred.

"haruto, what are you saying?" his mother was the first one to have the courage to speak after a long moment of loud silence, awkwardly shrugging his outburst by heaving the most natural chuckle she could manage but appeared as the most foolish instead.

the male did not utter a single word. he does not have to repeat his intention, his stand, to people who does not give a care for one's freedom other than business and business itself. it was as if the thought continued to suffocate him for years until now, chained by their own beliefs with no freedom of opposition.

it was until then he met the gaze of his father. it broke him, espying the same look of immense disappointment, disapproval, and as if telling him that he does not deserve to be his honorable son. and it broke him, almost into tears, but he knew he had to remain resilient.

park jeongwoo.

his father only broke the awkward ambience with a simple cough, taking a look at him again before proceeding to calm everyone as if nothing happened. has his rancor and resentment never reached him, or he just doesn't give a care?

"pardon my son, he's just being immature."

immature, huh? was that the only thing that registered inside of his family's mind, although it continued to bother and hindered his life for a lifetime? and after having all the courage to speak up despite knowing the consequences, taking the damn risk— it was nothing but an immature act.

he had no strength to defend himself anymore.

the talk continued for hours, shrugging out his breakdown and forgetting what he just said, so awfully easy to convince and coax that it was just for entertainment. and everything was as peaceful as it is, except him and his heart. it was a pool of chaos, disbelief— almost drowning in the ocean of hatred towards grotesque attitudes that stood upon him.

a few hours has passed and they finally left the mansion, and haruto did not even noticed. he was too discouraged, embarrased, pride just being stepped like a mere ground. until he heard the most unnerving, disappointing voice coming from no one but his father.

"come upstairs. we need to talk," and after that, he only found himself sitting alone the dining table who was once filled with exhilarating people.

"jeongwoo. not yet. just.. not yet."


i've been so busy with my studies but since i have free time, might as well seize it. im so sorry for updating late at night, and for updating another lame chapter.

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