STUDY BUDDIES. | hajeongwoo

39.

right. a friend. why did he even forgot about that?

he was too blinded by the hopes and expectations he mustered to gather after experiencing haruto's weird actions towards him just two months ago until now.

he was way too caught up and even continued to optimize his fantasies when in the end, haruto just treats him as his damn friend.

he was still the same, hopeless jeongwoo he was during high school.

it broke his heart, into even the tiniest fragments—and he could only blame no one but himself.

sure, he could blame haruto for playing with his feelings and making him look like a fool this whole time. in the end, even if he tries to deny, it was still his fault to believe his stupid traps.

it hurts, definitely.

jeongwoo couldn't see anything clearly due to the blurry vision caused by the liquid forming on his eyes.

before he could even embarrass himself any longer, he decided to excuse himself and leave the scene as soon as he could.

"i-i'm sorry, please excuse me," jeongwoo excused, his voice cracking due to the dryness of his throat.

he embarrassed himself right at that moment again, not even expecting that his voice with crack the moment he uttered a word. and haruto, his eyes, he could no longer look at him as easy as before.

jeongwoo immediately left the scene without even waiting for their reply. he walked wherever his feet would bring him until it led him to the seaside, the sea just right in front of him.

the faint sounds of the crashing waves coming back in front somehow brought peace and calmed him, and so he sat down the sand until his tears flowed down so casually.

he held it more than he could even expect. it just hurts, history repeating itself once again—he just doesn't learn. when in fact, everything of this was his fault.

if only he didn't get attached to him just like he planned, and just until he promised junkyu that he won't cry anymore, they were all lies to deny the fact that there's nothing going on between them.

"a friend is not that bad.." he uttered, trying to convince himself that everything is alright, that maybe it's really the time to release his feelings and let it go until it'll reach the endless horizons of the sea.

maybe he should really stop thinking that someone like him would attract someone like haruto. they just don't match, and it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt either.

he cried there for hours, not enough after all the years of liking him being wasted just like that. he was friendzoned, right even in front of his own friends, blurting it out just like that.

haruto is still the same, still so damn straightforward that it will either surprise him or hurt him to death.

finally after all the crying, he was able to calm down, until no tears would come out from his swollen eyes. he still had no idea how long it has been since he seperated with haruto.

and seeing that he hasn't come to find for him, if he does even, jeongwoo decided to just stare at the sea with utter emptiness as he hugged his knees upon feeling the cold.

it was until he felt a certain cloth placed on his back, and immediately turning to see who it was, he could only see haruto not looking at him but towards the sea, sitting down beside him.

and he's not even the closest to be ready to face him just yet. just when he was about to stand up, he felt another interruption when haruto held his wrist tightly.