Part 3

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Present...

Beyonce POV

"We're through..."

Those words echoed in my head as I laid back on my bed, facing the ceiling with tears streaming down my face.

I can't believe he's married. I can't believe I was the side chick this entire time.

Here I was thinking that Shawn ain't like the other guys I've dated. He is indeed trash for making me believe that I was his one and only girl.

I don't even know where to start to describe the pain I'm feeling. It hurts so bad, I can't breathe. Never in my life have I felt this way. I just want to be numb from all of the heartache.

A part of me wishes that I'm in some sort of nightmare and that I will wake up any second now. I would pinch myself once in a while with hopes that I'm gonna wake up from this nightmare.

I feel so dumb because I couldn't see the signs that Shawn's married. For goodness sake, I never even saw a ring on his finger. Had I known that he was married, I would have never dated him. I would have stopped and not gone too deep. Now I've fallen head over heels for Shawn and I just wish my love for him would just melt away or disappear.

"Bey, you gotta eat something," I heard Ashley softly say. I didn't even have to look at her but I knew she was carrying a tray of food as she entered my bedroom.

"I'm not hungry," I lowly said then I felt my bed dip.

"Bey, you have to eat. You haven't been eating these past couple of days and its not healthy for you. Everyday when you come back from work you stay in your room and that's not good for you," she said as gently sat me up.

I didn't sit up straight instead I slouched. She came and sat next to me then I laid my head on her shoulder as I sniffled. "Do you have any weed I can smoke?" I asked in a raspy voice. "In fact, I just want anything to make me numb from the pain. I wanna forget my pain."

"What you're asking for Bey, it is not the answer. It pulls you out of reality for a short while then you come back again then what? You'll take them again? Hell no. I'm not gonna allow you to hurt yourself like that," she said with her arm over my shoulders.

"I just-" I paused mid sentence when I suddenly felt queasy. I didn't even eat that much but I wanted to puke so bad. I sprung up and ran out of my bedroom to the bathroom Ashley and I share to throw up.

Why am I not surprised that I'm puking? Shawn does make me sick to my stomach, literally.

I then felt Ashley pulling back my hair and rubbing my back. When I felt like there was nothing left I got up and got myself cleaned up.

"Come here," Ashley said with her arms out for me. I then walked into her warm embrace and I buried my face in the crook of her neck. "Its gonna be alright Bey," she said rubbing my back.

"I fucking hate Shawn. I fucking hate him so much," I said as my voice cracked with emotion.

"Let's go eat," she said. "After that we'll watch a movie."

"Can we watch Mulan?" I said.

She chuckled. "Okay, we'll watch that movie," she said then we walked out of the bathroom.

Shawn POV

I've been trying to get into contact with Bey but I can't get to her. She must have blocked me.

I've been stalling long enough, I'm getting the divorce papers ready. I want to be with Bey but before that, I gotta get my shit together.

"I know daddy," I heard Cassie's loud self as I walked downstairs on my way to the kitchen. "Pardon my language but she looked like a two dollar whore. Her clothes looked like rags like she bought them in Target. I mean, I had a hunch that Shawn was cheating but damn that woman was below his standards. I ain't even mad dad," she said and she busted out laughing.

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