Child of Fire

My Heart

Warmth from the rich creamy colors of the condo walls and the golden glow of the lampshade in the corner cracked under the cold and heavy silence that descended in the family's cozy living room.

Sitting on the armchair across the father, Nine shook his head. "I don't agree with this."

Saint lifted his eyes, not really in surprise at the objection but more on the fact that Nine voiced his objection. Since he officially joined their family, Nine had always been carefully agreeable. It took awhile for him to come out of his quiet shell and get comfortable enough to let his laughter ring loud and free. Even then, when it came to serious family discussions, Nine went with the flow. Now he seemed like a rock thrown in the middle of stream.

"I don't agree with this either but if it's what Saint wants then we should respect his decision," their mother cut in before Saint could justify his plans. Their mother was sitting beside Rain on the couch, her shoulders stiff with tension.

Nine looked away, his mouth tight and his eyes unhappy. Their mother wore a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. Objectively this was no one's fault but mothers can be irrational sometimes when it came to their kids and Saint feared his mother blamed herself for this.

"Hey, guys, you trust me, right?" Saint tried to lighten the atmosphere. He purposely sat on the carpet, elbows on the coffee table, so he could look up to the family that surrounded him. "I've done my research and I think this is the best course of action for me. I'll make sure you won't regret it so please just let me do this, okay?"

He let his gaze meet the eyes of his father, his sister, and his mother, their reluctance was evident but he could also read their acceptance. Nine refused to meet his eyes. Saint exhaled his relief and glanced at the wall clock above the armchair where his dad was sitting. They've been talking for more than two hours now and he's ready to call it a night. Nine will take more convincing but Saint believes he will eventually get his support.

"Thank you for everything. I love you," Saint told everyone.

He hugged his sister goodnight first. Rain had been quiet earlier but now her voice was filled with confidence, "We'll get through this."

"I'm always proud of you, Saint," his dad murmured against his ear before retiring for bed.

His mother didn't say anything when she hugged him goodnight so Saint squeezed her tight and repeated his earlier assurance, "It's going to be fine, Mae, you'll see."

"Can't you guys just sleep here?" Saint's mother asked against his shoulder, unwilling to let him go.

Saint let out a quiet laugh before stepping back, "Thank you for always asking, Mae, but Nine and I will go back to the training camp."

In the building's basement parking area, that cold and heavy silence settled once more inside the pick-up truck. Saint found it oppressive and constricting. It was hard to breathe.

"Phi, I asked Simon to help you with H.O.P.E. and he-"

"I'm not worried about that, Saint," Nine sighed loudly. "My objection has nothing to do with that!"

Saint stared at the hands on his lap, he didn't know what to say. He's sorry but he's not changing his mind.

"I know there's no changing your mind," Nine said as if he was reading Saint's thoughts. "You're one of the most stubborn people I know. Once you decide on something there's no stopping you but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like it. And that's my problem, not yours. I get it."

"Phi, what can I do? I don't like it when you're mad at me," Saint said in a small voice.

"I'm not mad at you," Nine reached out to squeeze Saint's knee. "It's just... it's my job to take care of you."