"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Chapter 20 Naira

I avoid making eye contact with Josh and look miserably at the phone on my lap.

I've been crying for so many complicated reasons I can't explain.

I am crying because I am scared.

I am scared of the flashing lights, sweaty bodies and blasting music in the disco.

I am scared that Mason really likes me and our relationship will turn into a disaster.

I am scared that I really do like Josh in that way.

I am scared that Josh doesn't like me back.

I am scared that I've been living a lie.

My friends are a lie. They probably don't even like me, especially after what Darcey had told me earlier.

I told Josh I like him because I do, and I've been thinking for a while. The way I feel when I'm around him and the way he treats me feels different from being around Mason. Even though Mason might be crushing on me, I still feel the same way about him. Mason is my best friend and will always be, but with Josh...

He sits down and sighs.

I was expecting him to say something like 'I like you too.' But no, something even better happens.

"What's wrong?" he puts a hand on my back and awkwardly rubs it.

"I'm crying, in public." I sob.

He uses his thumb to wipe away my stray tears, just like in the movies.

"Are you cold?" he whispers.

He cares about you Naira! Well OF COURSE he cares about you, you're his best friend!

"Yeah." I was practically frozen; no-one had told me it would be 6˚c during the late hours.

He takes off his hoodie swiftly and pulls it over my head.

"Now you'll be cold." I shiver silently, not wanting him to know exactly how cold I am.

"I'm wearing a jumper underneath."

I hug him instantly and cry into his chest.

How could I have such a good friend?

It's not that Mason isn't a good friend, I told him not to follow me and I guess he was being good in a way, since he listened to me.

His clothes smell nice, he smells nice. He smells nothing like the stinky people at the disco.

He stokes my hair and we sit like that in silence.

I can feel his breath on my neck. His warm, sweet breath.

"How do you like me, Naira?" he murmurs.

I think about my answer.

How much do I like him?

What kind of like is it?

I don't answer for a while.

"To be honest, I like you. Of course I do, you're my best friend."

He pauses.

"but I also like you in a different way. I have a crush on you, Naira."

I let go of him and sigh.

"That's how I feel." I mumble.

I look down at the floor. No offence to my laps but they look boring, the floor is more interesting.

The ground is where everything takes place.

We grow up on the floor: When we're babies, we crawl. We learn how to walk and we walk on the floor every day. Even if you're in a wheelchair, you need the ground to support it.