That Kid on YouNow || Zach Clayton

17

"What what what do you mean?" Zach said stuttering.

"Come in and sit." I said quietly.

"No! I'm not gonna sit down until you tell me what the hell happened?" He said with a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Zach.. A year ago, I gave birth to a child who wasn't alive. She was a still born. They said something went wrong in the pregnancy. I had her two weeks early, and I knew that was a sign that she might not come out alive. When she came out, she was beautiful. I just wish she could've seen me too. It breaks my heart just thinking about her. A couple days later when we went home, we had to take down her room. That was the most painful thing I've done in my life. I held her for about three minutes. Then they took her away.. Forever. A week later was the funeral. I got to speak in front of everyone. But I couldn't speak. Most people don't know pain until they experience this kind of stuff. All of my family from North Carolina came down. But it seemed as if they didn't give a shit. My aunt was the only one who went through all this with me. Zach o tried calling you. I tried texting you, everything. You wouldn't answer. I can't change the fact that you didn't care about me, but you should've at least answered your fucking phone. When I needed you most, you weren't there." I said starting to cry really hard now.

Zach put his head in his hands and starting pulling his hair. He started pacing and tears were flowing down his cheeks nonstop.

"What was her name?" He asked quietly.

"Lilliana rose Clayton." I said.

He fell to the ground and started freaking out. He was crying so hard and he couldn't stop.

"Why God. Why us?" He said to particularly no one.

"Zach it'll be okay." I said in a hushed tone.

"No it won't. I'm so fucking dumb. I missed my daughters funeral. I missed everything." He said.

"It's all my fault." He said quietly hoping I wouldn't hear.

"Zach it's not your fault please don't blame yourself." I said.

"I have every right to blame myself!!" He screamed.

"ZACH SHE WAS DEAD. SHE DIED INSIDE OF ME. THAT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING IT IS. THE ONLY THING THAT IS YOUR FAULT IS NOT BEING THERE FOR ME." I screamed at him.

"YOU WERENT THERE FOR ME!" He said.

"YOU WOULDNT ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS. I TRIED EVERY DAY. EITHER YOU HIT IGNORE OR JUST DID ANSWER IS NOT MY PROBLEM. BUT HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SAY I WASNT THERE FOR YOU, BECAUSE I ALWAYS WILL BE. IM ALWAYS GONNA BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT." I said screaming again.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have screamed." I said blushing.

"It's okay. Your perfect. I'm really sorry kenz. I guess I just freaked out That's all. I just wish I could've done something to make everything better." He said.

I smiled and looked at his eyes. The pain shone right through them. It's like he's been hurting. Even before this.

"Why don't we catch up? Can I take you to dinner tonight?" He asked me.

"Of course." I said blushing hard.

"Okay. I'll pick you up at 7. And wear something casual. Because I'm gonna take you out somewhere afterwards." He said.

I nodded my head and said goodbye, as I closed the door.

Am I starting to like Zach again?