Another Chance

Chapter 13- Aftermath

   Xingchen woke up to an arm tightening it's grip on his waist. Memories suddenly came back and he turned a crimson red, he turned around making sure to not wake up the man.
   Xue Yang began to stir a bit and he moved closer to Xingchen, pressing his head against the man's bare chest. Xingchen smiled and combed his fingers through Xue Yang's hair gently, he always loved playing with Xue Yang's hair.
   The man let Xue Yang sleep for a while longer before deciding to wake him up, "Chengmei, wake up darling."
    "What is it?" Xue Yang asked groggily, he hid his face in Xingchen's chest with closed eyes.
     "You have to wake up, and I have to go back to a-Qing. She's probably worried about me, and so will Ziche..." he trailed off. "This wasn't supposed to happen." He quickly stood up and put his clothes on, "I'm sorry Xue Yang but I'm with Zichen now."
     Xue Yang sat up, "But he doesn't love you, nor do you love him," he said as he also changed.
    "No, I love him. This wasn't supposed to happen I'm sorry, this was a mistake," Xingchen said, the words stabbing Xue Yang's chest. Xingchen went out the door and Xue Yang followed.
    "Wait Xingchen," he said grabbing onto the man's shoulder, "I don't care that you're with Song Lan, I don't care if you think you love him. We fucked yesterday and you said you loved me, you can't change that, was it really a mistake?"
   Xingchen turned to him and with a cold face said, "Yes, it was a mistake. And I'm sorry, I wish we never did anything, and I wish I never said that."
    Xue Yang's heart dropped, and his hopes shattered, "You wish...we never did anything and said that?"
    "Yes, I'm with Zichen and what I just did and said is unacceptable," Xingchen stalked off and left Xue Yang alone.
    The man looked down with sad eyes and felt tears coming. He fought them back but soon let them flow, he let them fall down his face. He walked back to his house and found his stack of alcohol, he took a bottle and drank half of it. He stumbled back and fell into the table, he let the alcohol take its effect and cried, "Xiao Xingchen, why do you always hurt me this way? What am I supposed to do, without you?"
    Xue Yang let out a sob and drank more alcohol, "Why do you always leave me? Especially after we do something that makes me love you more," his head hung low, "maybe it was my fault. Maybe if I hadn't tried to do anything, I wouldn't be in this type of pain."
   He cried and drank his feelings away, he couldn't believe it. After everything, Xingchen had left him again. He passed out on the floor, drunk and broken, with a bottle in hand.

   Xingchen was in the forest when he heard a-Qing's voice, "Xiao Xingchen! Where are you?!"
    He pushed his emotions down and forced his voice to come out, "I'm over here!" The girl turned to his direction and ran over.
    "Xiao Xingchen, where were you? Me and Song Lan were looking all over for you," the girl said hugging him tightly.
    Xingchen finally broke into tears at the mention of Song Lan and fell to his knees. A-Qing looked at him in shock and watched as blood dripped from the man's eyes instead of tears.
    "What happened?" She asked hugging him tightly, almost like a mother.
    "I-I was with Xue-xue Yang, and we-we had s-sex," he said between sobs, he pushed his face into the young girls shoulder.
    A-Qing nodded, eyes wide. She quickly put herself together and said, "Alright and do you feel bad about it?"
    "Y-yes," he answered, "because I'm wi-with Zichen," he cried even harder.
    "Shh, it's alright," a-Qing said, "it's not your fault. Nor is it Xue Yang's ok. Let's go to the lake and calm you down alright? Does that sound good?"
     "Al-alright," Xingchen stood up and a-Qing grabbed his hand. She led him away into the trees and soon they arrived at the lake, she sat him down and sat beside him.
    "Just relax and listen to the sounds of the trees in the wind and the waves on the water," she said. Xingchen nodded and obeyed, he listened to the sounds of nature and soon stopped crying and calmed down.
    "I'm alright now," he said after a while.
    "Are you sure?"
    "Mhm."
     A-Qing nodded, "Alright, now tell me what happened."
     "I met with him on the way back yesterday from my walk, we talked for a while before things got out of control. We had sex and fell asleep and we said I love you to each other, today I woke up and remembered that I was with Zichen, I felt terrible. I told him that it was a m-mistake and that I wished I never did any-anything with him or s-said anything," Xingchen began to get emotional again and a-Qing rubbed his back.
    "Ok, so what do you feel bad about? Fucking him or betraying Song Lan?" A-Qing asked.
     "Don't say that word."
     "What? Fucking?"
     Xingchen nodded, "Yeah, don't say it."
     "Alright I won't, you haven't answered my question though," a-Qing said.
     "I...I don't know," he said.
    "Let me ask you this then, did you enjoy fu-having sex with him? Were you happy when you were with him? When you heard his voice did your heart beat faster?" The girl asked him seriously.
     Xingchen thought for a second before nodding, "Yes, to all those questions."
     "Then you didn't feel bad about being with him. You only feel bad about betraying Song Lan," a-Qing stated.
       "I guess so yeah," Xingchen said.
       "And that's fine, you have a good reason to be upset. But if you are happy with Xue Yang, then you shouldn't be upset, you are happy when you're around him so maybe it's best to just leave Song Lan."
        "But I love Zichen," Xingchen said pitifully.
       "You don't Xingchen," a-Qing sighed exasperated, "you think of him as a BROTHER, and you think of Xue Yang as a LOVER," she shook her head, "I think you should be with Xue Yang instead, his soul dances with you the most. And Song Lan doesn't love you that way too, he also thinks of you as a brother."
      Xingchen nodded slowly, "You're always right a-Qing so I'm going to take your advice. But if something goes wrong it's your fault, alright?"
     "Deal."