woman like me - j.f✔️

XLVI

Love had arrived at school, it being her forth week back since Kenny's anniversary. She managed to avoid the team and their condolences for weeks, thankfully, but today she wasn't so lucky. As Dre approached her, she assumed the worst and put her "I miss him too" face on.

"Hey, Love." Dre chirped. "How are things?" Not even she could answer that question, but she stuck with her usual response to counsellors and teachers alike.

"Good. What's up?" She asked casually, closing her locker and shoving her bag onto her back. Dre and Love both walked up to her class, Dre nervous to tell Love.

"It's about Justin." He quickly added. "I know you don't like getting comments about Kenny, and that's not what I'm here for. It's Justin. He's been missing practice and I know he's not been doing to well in class, either. Have you noticed anything?"

Love thought to herself. In the four weeks she's been back at school, she's only ever seen him at lunch, and then he disappears again. At first, she just assumed their classes didn't collide at all. But with Dre mentioning his grades are slipping, she began to worry.

"No, I haven't. But I can talk to him and see what's up." Love offered, turning to face Dre as she reached the outside of my class. He nodded and smiled, walking away and leaving her to her English class. She could barely focus that class, all she could think about was Justin and why he'd be missing school. But finally, she caught him at lunch.

She sat beside him, smiling and pulling her lunch from her tray. "Hey Justin, I feel like I haven't spoken to you in forever." Love mentioned. Justin just smiled back at her and dug in. She couldn't keep in any longer, she needed to know what the matter was. Why was he missing practice and why were his grades slipping? She just needed to find a way to ask him.

"Look, Dre told me you've been missing sessions and your grades are falling. What's up?" She was honest, upfront, and polite. She didn't want to pressure him at all. His face fell, what was he supposed to do now that she knew? He was trying his best to avoid it himself, but now he couldn't lie if Love knew.

He sighed, putting his drink back onto the table. "Coach let me go from the team. He did it privately to save my dignity, but because my academic grades aren't high enough, I can't play." He felt like an idiot for this happening to him, why on earth would he deserve someone like Love? He wouldn't be surprised if she just stopped talking to him, and let him be alone for the rest of senior year.

"Let me help." She suggested. Justin just shook his head. Love was very generous and caring and giving, but this wasn't worth wasting your time on. He didn't have an appetite anymore, so he pushed his lunch tray away from him. They were the only two at the table, but he felt like the whole cafeteria heard him say it.

"Love, just leave it." He spoke quietly, but Love wouldn't ever leave it. This was her best friend. The one person who helped her from a toxic relationship. Who helped her from falling into a depressive hole again. Who made coming to school so much easier. Without him, she didn't know where she'd be. "I'm a lost cause, and I'm just waiting for the next time I fuck shit up. I'll probably run again."

He wasn't thinking about what he just said. He hadn't processed it until he saw her begin to cry and walk away. Now he felt worse. Not only was he feeling hopeless and helpless with his school life, but now he didn't even have the one person that could help him. It took everything inside of her to not chase after her, to give her time, so he slumped against the table and wasted his lunchtime away.

Love sat in the desk seat of her room, the lights dim and just doing her homework. If any teachers were to check what she was doing, she was still doing something useful. Her heart ached. She wanted to help Justin more than anything, but he wouldn't let her. And to hear that he's just waiting to fuck up and run away again, it hurt. He'd be leaving her, after everything they'd been through together.

It took a while for Justin to finally find her, seeing her in the one place he should've checked first. He knocked on the door, thinking of what to say. "May I have a meeting?"

Without hesitation, she spoke. "Sure, come and sit down." She hadn't realised it was him until he sat down. She wasn't mad, she was more upset. But nonetheless, she spoke to him. "What can I help you with?"

"I said a stupid thing to someone. I was so overcome with sadness and anger at myself for being stupid, and I took it out on them. I don't know how to apologise, because they mean so much to me and I want them to know I'd never leave them, even if I was forced to." He explained. Love composed herself, she didn't want to cry. She had accepted his apology instantly.

Without another word, Love stood up and embraced Justin tightly. Just in case it was the last time. She knew to hug him like it was the last time, because he was so unpredictable that he could skip town before she wakes up the next day. He held her tightly, as if he was squeezing his apology into her.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"It's okay," she replied quietly, looking up at him. "But let me help you. Please." He just nodded, enjoying their moment together.