woman like me - j.f✔️

XXXIII

Love had woken up before Justin, laying on the bed beside him. His chest rising and falling slowly, his lips slightly parted. He looked so peaceful, and was probably going to suffer the consequences of drinking when he wakes up.

As she'd began to get dressed, she'd tried so desperately to remember what happened last night. She remembers partying with Rowan, Dre, and Justin. And then an Uber ride back to Justin's. Where they kissed.

Shit.

Fuck.

Love never thought she would cheat, never in a million years. But what would possess her to kiss Justin?

She'd scrambled to find her clothes, pulling them on before grabbing her things and leaving. This morning, she definitely needed to walk home, even if it was a walk of shame. She'd sent a few texts to Rowan, checking she'd gotten home okay last night. And began her walk home. Her legs ached, her stomach felt tight, and her head felt like someone was splitting it in half like a coconut.

It was so early that barely any cars were on the road, and the sun was beginning to rise. 5.09am. She eventually recognised her street, taking her heels off and carrying them in her hands. Her house key was in her purse, so she had struggled to find it and pushed the door open. The house was dark, as her mom was sleeping. So she'd quietly creeped up the stairs.

Her body felt sticky and disgusting, a shower overdue. Entering the bathroom, she peeled off her clothes and threw them into the plastic hamper beside the tub. The water felt like home to Love, it embraced her with arms wide open, embracing her in the warmth. She didn't want to leave. Everything she had to worry about had melted away, slipping down the shower drain.

Love had replaced her clothes with some shorts and a shirt, heading downstairs to find something to relieve herself of her headache. She swallowed some Tylenol down with water, waiting for the kettle to heat up on the stove. She'd sat at the island, guilt ripping her insides in half. Love and Rowan had been doing so well, but now she'd ruined it by drunkenly kissing someone. Not just someone, her best friend.

As she sipped on the warm stimulant, she heard movement at the bottom of the stairs. Her mom had appeared, wearing her scrubs. Love had completely forgotten her mom was still working. She only gets a few weeks off during summer.

"Morning, Love. How was the party?" She asked, pressing her finger against the kettle to feel its warmth. Love sat there uncomfortably, of course she trusted her mom but did she want to tell her about what happened?

"It was okay." She spoke. Only a half lie, her evening was great until she'd gotten into the Uber. Her mom placed her travel mug on the island, grabbing her lunch from the fridge.

"Well," her mom called out, slapping a note onto the surface. "There's $20. Eat some food, watch some tv, just relax baby." She smiled, waving at her mom as she left.

The second her mom left, her guilt returned. It felt horrible to sit with. She's ruined her relationship with Rowan, or what was left of it, and now her friendship with Justin. They couldn't pretend to be okay after the events of last night. There was no way she'd be able to tell Rowan, but it would eat away at her if she didn't.

Love had finished her mug and placed it in the dishwasher, heading upstairs to sleep. Her phone had been ringing nonstop. A few texts from Justin, and a missed call from her mom. She answered the most important first.

"Hey," she spoke quietly. "Is everything okay?" Her room was dark, yet comforting. Rain began to patter against her windows, drowning out the thoughts in her head. She clenched her stomach as she waited for her mom to respond.

"I've just gotten a call from the camp, Margot wants to come home. Do you think you could pick her up?" There was a sense of relief that washed over her. She had something to do now, and Margot could help in distracted her from guilt. She knew exactly where the camp was, as her and Kenny would go every summer when they were younger.

"Of course." Love replied, finding a presentable yet comfortable outfit. Which consisted of sweatpants, a crop top, and a puffer jacket. She found her keys, grabbed her phone, and began the long drive to camp. At every red light, she would stop and read a text from Justin. Not having the slightest clue on how to reply.

Justin: Love, I'm sorry.

Justin: We were drunk and I don't know what came over me.

Justin: Please, Love, talk to me.

The sky began to lighten, an array of pretty colours before her. The knot in her stomach easing as she smiled at the sight. She was close to camp, seeing all the familiar spots her and Kenny would go. They used to be so close, but high school separated them.

Arriving outside the camp gates, a cabin counsellor approaching her car alongside her sister. Who clutched her bag tightly in her hand. As Margot got into the car, the counsellor made conversation with Love. And signed a form to acknowledge her departure. Both Margot and Love began to relax as they drove away.

"You okay, Mar?" Love asked, looking into her rear view mirror. Her younger sister was leaning against the car door, looking out the window with her half opened eyes.

"I just missed home." She responded. Love knew how she felt, she remembered her first time at camp, and how she cried for two hours after her parents left. It was Kenny's second time, so he calmed her down.

"I know what will cheer you up." Love mentioned. "Wanna get some McDonald's?" Margot's eyes lit up as she eagerly nodded, her sitting position now straightened. Love made the turn onto a new route, hoping to pass the restaurant on her way home.