I Loved You First (Dabi X OC X Hawks)

Chapter 11 - Dear Babydoll

I gazed around her room and couldn't help but smile. It looked just like I imagined it to. The room was a pale duck egg blue and was littered with books and polaroid photos, many of which were being used as bookmarks. She always was a bookworm. I used to tease her about it relentlessly but it was actually one of the many things I admired about her. She could escape the world for hours on end, lost in the lives of fictional characters. The copy of The Great Gatsby that I gave her for her 17th birthday rested on top of a large pile of books at the foot of her bed. I can't believe she kept it after all these years. I picked it up smiling at the heavily dog eared book, who's spine was creased heavily from years of reading. I opened it and was greeted by the familiar message I wrote all those years ago.

Happy Birthday Doll!
As far love stories go, this isn't the worst.
But ours is still my favourite.
All my love,
Your Touya xx

A small tear hit the page and I felt myself freeze. Coming here was a mistake. This room is a graveyard filled with memories that haunted my dreams. It taunted me with the life I could never live again and reminded me just how much I missed my babydoll.

I closed the book and placed it down precariously close to the edge of the tower of books, making my way over to the messy table next to her door.
The table was littered with makeup and post-it notes, most of which made little sense to an onlooker. Another trait of Kimi's that made me smile. Kimi would always leave little notes around as a reminder to do something but being the constantly late person she is, she would only ever write down one or two words, meaning she could understand the note without context but anyone else would be utterly confused. The latest notes I could see read 'Bird 6PM' whilst another simply said 'Clock'.

I forced myself out of her bedroom and walked silently into the living room, being greeted by the familiar scent of wild berries and vanilla. Pictures of her mom and dad littered the walls alongside childhood certificates and medals for her musical talent. Kimi was always an amazing singer, though she was shy in front of other people, she had a sweet soulful voice that very few people outside of her family and musical examiners heard. Memories of laying my head in her lap as she sung softly to me, fingers running through my hair, danced across my mind.

'She's going to be doing that with him now', my mind taunted me.
"Damn it" I curse under my breath and lay face down on her uncomfortable couch. I inhaled deeply, trying to forget that feathered bastard and how his hands were all over my girl.
'But she's not your girl anymore' my subconscious reminded me in that annoying smug voice.

"Even though I look like a BURNT chicken nugget I still love myself" screeched through the silence and made me jump, falling awkwardly to the ground.
I looked over the couch from my position on the floor and glared at Peanut. My old nemesis.

"I see she kept you, stupid bird." I mumbled walking over to him whilst he starred back at me with those unblinking beady eyes.

"What the fuck is up Kyle?" the little monster replied glaring at me like the feathered sociopath he is.

"You are one thing I don't miss" I mumbled attempting to pet his head the way Kimi used to. I technically shouldn't be here so maybe I can play nice and he'll leave me alone?
I gave him too much credit ...
The little monster began to scratch and peck at my hand screeching wildly. Some things never change.

"Urgh - why does she like you?!" I grumble, retracting my now bleeding hand and resisting the urge to cremate the little beast.

"When will you learn that your actions have consequences!?" Peanut screeched as I left him and returned to Kimi's bedroom. I swear that bird knows exactly what he is saying! I honestly don't know why she chose a bird for a pet. Why not a cat or a dog? At least they can't scream vine references at you, and they may not completely despise me either.

As I was walking over to her window, ready to leave and promise myself that I wouldn't break into her home again, a glint of light caught my eye.
There on her table was the locket I had given her for her 16th birthday. In all the years that I had been keeping an eye on her, I had never once seen her take it off and to see it on the table, felt like a shot through the heart.

I move like a ghost towards the table and pick the locket up with fumbling fingers. In all this time it never faded, nor worn. Kimi kept it in pristine condition, the cold metal as bright as the day I gave it to her. I opened the locket and couldn't help the bitter-sweet feeling that pushed on my chest.

Kimi hadn't changed much since her youth. Her bright smiling violet eyes held the same childish innocence as they did then. Her sun kissed freckles still danced across her face like constellations. Her deep brown hair still flicked up slightly at the ends, much to her constant dismay.
But the boy beside her was a stranger. Red unkempt hair, playful blue eyes, smooth porcelain skin. He was nothing more than a memory. A ghost that time and suffering had broken and distorted. The boy disappeared, leaving behind only the scarred monster that stood inside the girl's room like a shadow.

I couldn't stop the tears from escaping. They stung at my scarred skin and blurred my vision. I felt myself shake in an attempt to keep them at bay but the rattling sob that had been held in my chest for years was finally making itself heard.
I miss her so fucking much!
Why did I have to leave? Why did I think it would be better this way? Why couldn't I have been more selfish? I could have convinced her to come with me. We could have run away together, started a band of villains. But then she would be a ghost as well. I miss Kimi. My Kimi. Not the monster that she would become if she followed the same path I took.

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I had grabbed one of her post-it notes and began scribbling out an almost illegible message.

Dear Babydoll,
I've tried but I can't let you go. Please don't forget me.
T.

I frowned looking down at the bright pink note in my hand. I can't do that to her. I can't just march back into her life when she is finally moving on. I crumple up the note and throw it in the small bin that sat beside her table.

I forced myself to leave before I could do something else I would later regret and shuffled out the window and into the coldness of the night.

Author note -

Hey lovely readers hope you enjoyed the chapter! I've finally managed to write out the overall plot so chapters should be easier to get out! I promise there is a lot more UwU moments to come (from both Hawks and Dabi)

Xoxo