Ghost Of You (AI)

14.

Ashton's POV

Drums are really the only thing I feel like I'll always be able to turn to.

I mean, in a life where everyone seems to change and leave behind the people they swore they'd love forever, you have to find something that stays the same.

For me it was the empowering feeling of spinning the wooden stick in my hand and banging them down to make a beat that keeps the music together.

I guess it just made me feel truly useful.

"Is everybody having a good time tonight?" Michael shouted into the mic causing an eruption of screams from the crowd. "I know we are." He said turning back to me with a wide smile, signifying for me to say something.

I mentally rolled my eyes and returned the smile before leaning into my mic

"Truly it's amazing to be here with all you beautiful people tonight." I paused letting the screams arise again. "Because of you guys we are all standing on this stage living out our dream so I thank you forever for that." I said concluding my mini speech.

Luke and Calum added onto that statement, continuing to thank them endlessly while I just sat and continued to let my own mind consume me.

It's not like I had lied or anything. I would always be grateful for everything they've done. But every part of me feels like I don't deserve the spot I hold here.

But I guess that's what they all say isn't it.

"Alright enough of the softy sh*t let's play American Idiot." Michael added, once again causing screams galore.

I was almost relieved to hear that, knowing that it's one of the last songs on the set and I could just go to bed soon and let these thoughts die out.

Or maybe they'll just multiply.

———

"You've been wonderful Orlando!" Calum shouted, starting to run off stage.

"Thank you so much we'll see you soon." Luke concluded, being the last one besides me to run off backstage.

I made my notorious walk to the front of the stage and took a look around at all the faces. Some were tired, some were crying, and some were still as ecstatic as they were when we first ran out an hour and a half ago.

I took another few seconds to study the faces and attires before chucking a drumstick out, watching to make sure it didn't hit anyone.

When I saw it land firmly in someone's grasp I mentally sighed with relief and raised up my arms in a sort of 'goodbye' and turned to run and join the other boys.

The moment I walked through the entryway I was handed a water bottle that I took one sip of before pouring a quarter of it on my head.

I know i'm an aussie and all but christ it's hot out there.

"Good job tonight, Ash." Michael complimented, patting me on the back.

"Thanks mate, you too." I nodded. He started to walk away before quickly turning on his heels to face me again.

"Hey we're thinking of going out tonight to celebrate the first show, you down?" He pointed.

"Nah i'm beat." I shook my head. "Think i'm gonna head back to the bus and call it a night."

"Alright, suit yourself." He shrugged, turning again to meet up with the others.

Funny how I have the nerve to complain when I'm the only one in my way of a good time.