Crossing Boundaries

Chapter 2

Luin

My first years in the human realm mostly involved a lot of camping.

I had no money, no identification. I knew enough of how human society worked to know that if the authorities realized I was on my own, they would do everything in their power to "help" me. I did not want or need their help. I knew how to thrive in nature, and I kept myself entertained with books and with my own imagination. When the light was good and I was feeling up to it, I'd whittle, warmed by the heat of my little bonfire, as I daydreamed.

My favorite thing to do was wonder about my soul mate – my whole reason for living this life I'd chosen. Did he know yet that I was Seelie? Did he care? Had he already come to this realm to be with me? We wouldn't be able to find or identify each other until our bond formed, but if things worked the same for Unseelie fae as they did for Seelie ones, then he might be here somewhere. Maybe he was sitting by a little fire just like mine, wondering about me, too.

I didn't like to think of the alternative – that he would not choose to leave his people and be with me. I had already let myself meander down that road too many times and had spent dozens of nights heartbroken over the possibility.

That's the thing about having so much time alone – it didn't matter how good I was at distracting myself or keeping my mind from straying. Eventually, my thoughts would get away from me and there was no one to pull me back out of that well of darkness other than myself.

I kept track of the days as they passed, and the seasons felt like they both flew by and dragged on as I anxiously and eagerly waited for the day my magic would come in.

It took almost two years, but one morning I was hunting rabbits and when I locked eyes with one as it hid in the brush, it froze. At first, I assumed this was the same kind of panic-freeze prey animals did instinctively when they sensed danger, and I tried to wait the rabbit out. I locked my body into stillness and waited for him to grow comfortable enough with my presence that he'd go about his business.

I never liked to shoot down my food when it could see the arrow coming.

But the rabbit just kept staring at me, and after too long I realized it wasn't even blinking. Cautiously, I crept forward until I was only inches away and still the rabbit didn't move. I backed up a couple of steps and held out my arms. "Come," I said, feeling foolish.

But the rabbit didn't hesitate. It hopped right into my arms, its gaze never leaving mine. I held it and stroked its soft ears with one hand while the other crept to its throat – ready to snap its neck – but I couldn't do it. Not like this. Not with the rabbit so docile and trusting in my arms.

I knew that trust was an illusion; that as soon as I released the rabbit from this trance, it would flee. But I simply couldn't bear to hurt it in this state.

I let the rabbit go free and went to a nearby pond to hunt ducks, instead.

As far as first experiences with magic go, mine was unnerving. Still, I was hungry to try out my newfound power again. I packed up my worn bag with anything I wasn't willing to risk leaving unattended in my cave and walked to the nearest town, which was a several-day trek. I knew I looked dirty and that my clothes didn't fit me quite right; every so often, I had made my way to civilization and found a way to earn a little money so I could update my meager wardrobe and, if I had any funds left over, maybe indulge in a meal not hunted or gathered by my own hands.

Now, I went to town to practice. I slipped into a recreation center and stole a shower, but there was nothing to be done about my clothing until I got my hands on some money. It did occur to me that I could simply compel someone to give me a few bills, but that was a line I didn't want to cross.