Crossing Boundaries

Chapter 27

Arrowan

Everything went perfectly, but I was having a hard time pretending everything was normal and Luin was struggling even harder with it.

We still stayed holed up in either our home or in the magic shop. We still didn't risk walking between the houses. We both wore warded clothes so we couldn't be tracked down. Not much had changed except that I no longer had planning to keep me occupied.

I truly thought it might get worse after Fen moved out. He got a teaching job at that academy and moved out the next weekend. Our first afternoon having the house back to ourselves, Luin was fidgety and anxious on the couch. I tried to focus on reading my book while I waited for him to tell me what was on his mind, but he outlasted my patience.

"Something on your mind?" I asked.

Luin shrugged. "I was just thinking... we started sharing a room because Fen needed the other bedroom. He's gone now, though."

What? I thought we had been doing so well! He couldn't be about to suggest that we go back to staying in separate bedrooms, could he?

"I just wanted to say... if you wanted more space, I would understand. I can move back across the hall if that's what you want," Luin finished, looking down at his hands.

"That's not what I want at all," I told him honestly. The full, unfiltered truth was that I wanted more intimacy with him, not less. We had known each other for over a month now and our bond was still a half-developed thing between us. We still hadn't moved past kissing. I still didn't truly know him. We had let ourselves fall into the routine of domestic life without ever building up a foundation to make it really solid and long-lasting. There had been too much stress, too much confinement.

We needed to reset.

Luin launched himself at me, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, ducking my head down to enjoy the fresh scent of laundry and his favorite soap that clung to him. "I don't want it either. I just needed to check."

Once that was settled, Luin's mood improved considerably, and I took the opportunity to break away. I told him I was going to the garage to work on my sculpting. I finally had all the tools I needed, at least for my first project, and I finally felt like I had the time to devote to it. I couldn't stop thinking about how trapped we both were, though. How long would it be before the paranoia wore off and let us reach some semblance of normalcy?

Luin deserved better; we both did.

I put my welder away before I even used it and walked outside before I could think better of it. I felt exposed and vulnerable, and even though I had never considered myself a coward, there was a very real impulse screaming at me to run back inside, behind the wards, where I knew it was safe. I tamped that down and walked to the sidewalk.

I was paranoid enough that I looked all around me as I headed down the street, but as I kept moving forward without anyone jumping out at me, I started feeling better. I walked all the way to the end of the street and had almost made it back to the house when Luin came tearing down the sidewalk.

As he grew closer, I realized his face was red and his cheeks had tear tracks running down them. The whites of his eyes were red, too, and his mercury irises were glowing with magic. That was all I had time to take in before he slammed himself against me. "Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly.

"I'm fine. What happened?"

Luin pulled away and glared at me a second before he started raining gentle blows on my chest with his fists. "What happened? I have no idea what happened! You tell me."