A Life Worth Living (an Edward and Severus friendship fanfic)

Chapter 3- Forgiveness Part 3

Author’s note: Welcome back to the final instalment of Chapter 3- Forgiveness. I apologise for the delay in posting this final segment up; a couple of real life issues got in the way.

Anyway, here it is!

Happy reading!!!

From the previous segment:

“There must be a way; everything is able to be balanced,” I gently persisted, hoping to further reinforce this idea of redemption.

 “Why can’t you accept that such balance is impossible for some of us? We cannot all be as lucky as you!” he snapped at me, feeling frustrated by my foolish hope that balance and justice even existed in the world which has caused him so much pain. “And perhaps I don’t want to be forgiven,” he added truthfully. Now not only had I realised just how difficult it would be to convince him of anything that would preserve his ‘worthless’ life, but even if he did survive, he could never forgive himself. But I knew he did not deserve this pain- he had made a mistake, a mistake that was an accident, but it would take a lifetime for him to believe it.

‘A Life Worth Living’

Chapter 3- Forgiveness Part 3

“Then how will you live with your pain?” I queried as I struggled to ignore the affect his agony was having on me.

“I won’t,” he informed me in a reactive, detached manner. However, when he had the time to process the words that left his mouth, the boy’s reaction was one of shock.  He then felt relieved to have finally told someone, even a complete stranger that he was not coping.

Rod pondered over what the boy’s response meant, but was not able to join the dots. My family was a different story, however. Alice and Jasper knew the boy’s intentions already, but the others did not. Instantly, they understood both what I was trying to do, and why Jasper needed to remain in the car for several minutes.

I heard Esme’s gasp outside, as she begun to understand this boy; she too attempted suicide when she was still human.

Oh woah, Emmett thought to himself; he was not expecting this.

Rosalie’s mind was surprisingly calm, almost as if his death would resolve the fears she had of being discovered. I managed to hide my snarl by focusing on Carlisle’s more pleasant thoughts.

I am proud of you for trying to help this boy, Edward.

It was a relief to have my family know half of the reason I was putting us at risk of being discovered and missing our flight. However, they still remained ignorant of the other half.

Although my mind was able to take on board the emotional upheaval that occurred outside, my primary focus remained on the boy in front of me; his eyes were brimming with tears.

Yes, I encouraged him in my mind. Let me in.

His tears were reflective of his agony as he realised how much he desired death, and the immense hate he felt towards himself.

My mind was attacked by his grief as it collapsed on his chest.

Suddenly a relentless wave of thoughts invaded my mind.

There is no purpose to my life. I have never done anything right; everything I do results in someone’s death. I do not deserve to live. Why couldn’t I be left in peace in these final moments of my life? I want to be free, please. His final thought was a prayer.

I did not mean to take that from you, I thought at him, my conscience putting my own guilt into silent words. Then I instinctively moved my hand towards the boy hoping to comfort him for my sake and Jasper’s. My brother had closed his eyes, his body tense as he fought against the boy’s desire to leave his drained body- leave his internal hell- leave this life. Concerned for Jasper, I monitored his mind, waiting for him to either ease the boy’s pain through his gift or find a way to cope with the agony himself. Neither option was easy to accomplish.