A Life Worth Living (an Edward and Severus friendship fanfic)

Chapter 3- Forgiveness Part 1

Author’s note: Firstly, it’s wonderful to finally be able to write again. I missed my stories and readers SO much! My fingers have been itching for ages to continue writing, this story especially.

So welcome back to ‘A life worth living’. I am SO sorry to leave you hanging for the conversation between Severus and Edward- uni work consumed all of my time, so I literally had no time to spend writing. Thank you all for being so patient with my updates; I could not have asked for more respectful readers.

My plan will be to update regularly from now until end of February 2013 (except over a couple of weeks in early January). How I plan to do this is to write shorter chapters so I can update more frequently. We’ll see how that goes!

Having said that, this chapter is very long, so I have divided it into three parts to make it easier to read (thanks heaps to Cassandra for the advice!)

Please feel free to vote for each part, and leave a comment if you please ;)

Before we get into it, I just wanted to mention a slight change I made to Chapter 2 of this story. Originally, the chapter ended with Edward turning the door handle and entering the bar. However, I since decided to have Edward ponder for a bit longer about what he was going to do before walking into the bar. Consequently, I changed the ending of Chapter 2 slightly so Edward turns the doorknob, but does not walk in.

That’s all I’ll say for now J

Please enjoy Chapter 3, part 1!

Happy reading!

‘A life worth living’

Chapter 3- Forgiveness

Edward’s POV

            I felt the rough brass beneath my hand as I held onto the door handle, unable to enter the pub due to the thoughts of the grieving man within. The intensity of his pain literally prevented me from moving. Would I even be capable of speaking to him when I found it so difficult to function in his presence? His agony was overwhelming him, tumbling in relentless waves as they crashed into his chest. When I felt a moment’s reprieve, a renewed blanket of irrepressible sadness stronger than the wave before, would consume both of us. It would have been simple for me to walk away for a few minutes to escape his grief, but this man could not. I had to pause to consider what I would ultimately be requesting of him: to endure this paralysing grief for perhaps the rest of his life in exchange for the freedom of others. I knew it would be unjust and unfair to expect such a tremendous sacrifice to be made by a human, even if he was able to alter the future in such a significant way. I knew myself and Jasper would struggle surviving with such emotions- such despair- such hopelessness.

The loss of a mate in our species almost equated to death. This man’s love for Lily was not likely to be as deep or as whole as vampires love their mates, but he most certainly loved her, and it was not my place to dictate how much grief he should be able to cope with. Although I did not know what it meant to love as deeply as this man, my siblings, or my parents, if Carlisle were extricated from the world, I knew I would struggle to continue my existence. So, as I stood at the door, my hand still poised on the handle, I considered once again whether it would be right to force the lives of others onto this man’s shoulders when he believed his own was not worth living. Should I be meddling with the fate he has chosen for himself? Many questions with endless possible answers continued to develop in the recesses of my mind.

Within a second I was able to form a conclusion I felt comfortable with: No, I had no right, but I did have a responsibility to inform him of what I knew. It was imperative this be done without putting my species or his at further risk. Before Alice left, my plan was to inform him discreetly of what she had Seen. At that particular point in time, she saw that such knowledge would sway the man’s decision, so the future of his neighbours remained peaceful and free. But I did not know then how I would approach the topic or exactly what I would say. I could not simply burden him with such a revelation; some small talk would need to be involved. Without Alice close at hand, I needed to be cautious; even small talk could lead to catastrophic consequences…