Repetition

One day

I hope one day

I could go back to being the naive little girl

and we'll sit together watching the sunset like it's our first time skimming the sun

and we'll call it sun-bathing instead of a sunset

and argue that it's actually a moon

I hope one day

we'll talk deeper under the stars

where your secrets will be tightly kept by me

I'll hold it dearly and secure it with a promise

while carrying it carefully like a new born baby

Unless we fight, I'll shout it out like a mad man at the street

I hope one day

we'll have a car ride to the mountains again

where you took nicely awful pictures

while you close your eyes

secretly hoping it'll turn out fine

I hope one day

There will be a day where my insecurity stops banging inside of my chest

So that you wouldn't have to bear with my screams

My dark sides

My nightmares

I hope one day

When my eyes can no longer watch yours

When my spirit fly to your arms

and whisper to your ears "Thank you"

Your last memory of me is when I smiled at your direction

Holding your heart like it's a fragile piece of glass

I hope one day

all of my prayers for you will be granted in front of my eyes

even when my body is buried down inside the lonely hole

even when my presence disappeared like a thin dust

I hope the skies shed some tears for me too so it will keep you company

But what scares me the most

is the day that will probably happen

which is the day

God calls you to His heaven

where you would still remember my name

and mention it to Him desperately

so that He takes care of me when my world crashes without you

So that He would write beautiful endings for my chapters too.