Monster: A Werewolf Romance

71. WITHOUT ME

I looked at my hand, and sure enough, my phone was dead. "Dead." I told him.

We were in his car, when I realised there was no real reason for him to pick me up. I was going to school today, and maybe he was, too. But there still wasn't any reason for him to do this.

"Why... are you here?"

He looked a little distraught. "Is your mother still pissed at me?"

"What? No, what the fuck? What did you do?"

His expression sobered. "Let's just not talk about it."

I giggled. What the fuck had he done?

"Kaea." He said my name, tentatively.

"Yes?" I asked, equally uncertain.

He had stopped, and he was looking in my purse, where the brochures and applications of BayView were popping out. I had drawn big arrows and highlighted everything I was previously excited about. "BayView?"

His tone was neutral, too neutral, in fact.

"I am not going." I stated.

He nodded, slowly. His head tilted. "Economics?"

"I can study that here." I shrugged it off.

He stared at me silently, as if a little disappointed. I could smack him on his nose and break it, for real this time. I go, and he is angry, and I don't, then is upset?

"What?" I let out, my voice huffy.

"Please don't stay back on my account. I am not worth it."

I thought he was, though. I really thought he was. It wasn't like I was going to become a miserable person if I stayed. There was a lot here I loved. A lot here I wanted to do. I just had to choose between one, and there was only one thing keeping me from not choosing home. My opportunities weren't going to end here. And going there would mean giving up so much about myself.

"It is not about you." But it kinda, sorta was.

He didn't say anything. But then he started the car. "You don't have anything important in school today, right?"

I whipped to face him. "No?" It ended up sounding more like a question.

He grinned. "Cool. Let's go on a long drive."

It was only when we were halfway did I realize where we were going. "Kyle!" I turned around to look at him. "You manipulative bastard."

"A little tough on me, aren't ya, Kitten?"

I smacked him, as my cheeks burned at his nickname. "Don't call me that," I said, pissed off. "Why do you never listen to me?"

"Hey, I just want to see the campus. Maybe I will apply for Economics."

I scowled at him. "Right. You. Economics."

"You don't have to sound like it is above me." He rolled his eyes, but laughed. He knew Economics was not his subject, he hated it.

"Alright, alright. Look education is important, and you clearly want to go," He pointed at my purse, where I had drawn a big, red arrow. I was planning for some hearts, but thank the goddess, is skipped that. Hey, it was the first time I was getting to choose something for myself, I was giddy when I was convinced I would go.

"So?" I said, completely aware of how incredibly whiny I sounded. Oh well, some things you just have to deal with if you pull this shit.

"I just want you to go there. I just want you to make sure you are taking the right decision, something you won't regret later." He muttered, eyes on the cars. His mouth was flat, his lips were pursed. I knew it had to be killing him from inside to do this. "I love you, Kaea." He said softly. "And that means I care for your happiness. I do, I really do. As hard as it to believe."

"It's not hard." I said softly. "To believe, I mean. But it is hard to choose, and you are making this harder."

"You don't need to choose just one." He parked the car at the side, lights blinking. He turned to me, gently removing my hair and tucking it behind my ear. "If... I can come to you every weekend, if you want. And holidays. It is not that far away, it is more than manageable."

I was shocked into silence. I remembered that long-distance relationships were a thing and that humans had been always doing it. Waiittt.... we are in a relationship? Wait, hold up.

Dear goddess, what are we? Kissing partners? Dating partners? Mates who are not quite mates?

Damn it, Kaea. Why do you overthink so much?

I jolted a little. It was my wolf. It had been so long since I had even heard her voice, I had kind of forgotten I had one.

Yeah, I can see how much you appreciate me. Thanks, it means a lot. She said. The sarcasm dripped from her voice.

I decided now that I was pissed. How dare she leave me for so long?

But she had a fair point. This wasn't something I should be overthinking.

"I can't possibly ask that of you..." I reasoned with him.

"That is a really dumb reason to not do this." Kyle stated.

I made a face at him. "Kyle, we are mates..." I had never said that out loud, and a pleasant sensation filled me as I said it. Fuck, fuck, I was not going to get out of this one, was I? "It's not going to be easy. In fact, it is going to be harder than it is for humans."

"I am willing to do it."

His message was clear. He loved me, he would do anything. Even if it meant staying apart from his mate. Sure we hadn't even said accepted each other, but if we did.... it was going to be much harder for him. Not because there are rules or anything, but he was in general a hornier and much more impatient person than I was. To top it, he was an Alpha. I didn't imagine he would be very pleasant for those 4 years.

Have regular sex with him, that should cheer him right up.

I ignored my wolf. Why was I surrounded by such people in my life?

"Let's go, first, then, we will see." I told him. He didn't argue, but his face had taken a faraway look, as if he, too was considering the implications of how difficult it would be.

BayView looked gorgeous, as always. Kyle and I got out of the car, and we walked slowly towards the admissions office. I rolled my eyes as more than a couple of girls glanced at him appreciatively.

It gave me a twisted pleasure when he didn't look back at them. I tried not to think about it too much.

I stood outside, and Kyle was a couple of steps behind me. "Are you sure?" I asked him.

He paused for a second. "Absolutely." It was one, simple word, but it was everything I needed.

I wasn't looking for his permission, but it was true that there was only one thing holding me back. Him. And to make this work, it would be a much greater sacrifice on his part than mine. He would be alone, handling the pack. On the weekends, he would be driving up here, mostly.

I didn't want to ask this of him. But I wanted to be selfish. Was it that wrong, to be selfish? Just once?

I decided that just this once, maybe it was.

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Hey, guys! Another kinda long chapter. 

In the media box, you'll find, "Colors by Halsey". Now, the video is definitely NOT capturing the vibe of this chapter, but the song is fantastic and kind of goes with it.

Hope you have a great day!

K R Y S T L E