Destined With Him

5. Shocker !

I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling with Ishaani by my side doing the same . it's been 2 hours since our guests have left , and and am surprised that no one had yet talked about the engagement party even , if our marriage has to be done in the span of one month . I don't trust Ayansh yet , I don't know if it's about trust , or the thing that his aura , or the vibe which he carries around him says to me that he's a very mysterious man , a man who never opens up to anyone , a man who cares , but not allows himself to love . Maybe he never got the chance at it , maybe never even wanted to take a chance at love ,

 Amaan has told me that he'd been involved in one night stands now and then and I don't mind because that was all what he have had been doing before meeting me , but now if he would do any such thing I don't know if I'd be able to forgive that , He can be an angry young man , it's okay if he couldn't love me , but one thing am sure about is I want him to be loyal , as my husband , he have to be . He said he wants to trust me , so maybe he wants this relationship to work out . ugh , am so confused . What if all that was a show he was putting up for me , what if he would turn a cold shoulder towards me as soon as we get married . 

One other thing am sure about is that I want this to work out too .He also said that he wants us to be friends , I should be happy about that right , because I've always had this thinking that a couple should be best friends of each other first , so that they can share whatever they want to , with each other without any hesitation , it only strengthens their love , but , who am I even kidding ? we don't even love each other    , hell ! I don't even like him that way yet , God ! we just met today . From what Aayushi has said , I think that , he's very very lonely in life , 'course he have his friends but what about someone who can just listen without judging him , or pointing out things at him , Maybe I can be that someone . 

Really , this is not your therapy session and he's not a patient.    My subconsciousness reminded me in a very tired tone . But this is the only thing friends do right ? , caring unconditionally , 

So you are saying that you care about him huh?  My subconsciousness , asks me again . well , I don't know . 

Okay , this is my thing , and you know it . I can even care about a stranger for all I care , this is my biggest weakness . And Ayansh is totally something else , one minute he's cocky , another minute all bossy and arrogant , and intimidating , and than we both had been laughing our asses off , in just one meeting I've felt so open with him , cursing him out , laughing with him , shouting at him , teasing . I've felt like myself , what I actually am . He brought out the worse in me , he'd seen it and he didn't mind it , and that's the thing , which is making me over think about all this , giving me hope , maybe I can fall for him , maybe he can ........ ugghh.

So you're ready to marry him ?

Maybe , it's not love , but it could have been worse , I'll just want him to care about me , because I have no doubt when I'll say that I'll care about him . But I can't be selfish , everything will be unconditional , I can't expect anything . 

The click sound of the door of my room opening breaks me out from my thoughts , and I looked at my father making his way to my chair . Ishaani also sits up straight with me . 

"What are you girls up to?" he asks starting to make a small talk , I know something worse is coming , it's his way of giving warning bells , that , just be prepared for the shocker . 

"Nothing we were just talking about , today , the wedding , dresses and all ?" Ishaani answers , I kept quiet , I never had any very good daughter-father relationship with papa . Since when? since I turned 8 or 9 I guess , I've always avoided any kind of straight talk to him until it's very important , with my mother my relationship was a little less strained , but it isnt very good either. At starting it bothered them , me behaving all strange and not talking to them , but they brought this up on themselves , they've never given me the love , never motivated me for anything in my life , just dropped their choices on me and asked me to do everything they wanted to . Never ever asked me what I would like to do . If when I scored good in school it's nothing , but when I didn't I became a girl good for nothing . And I hated that , hated every part of it .