'Meant every word'

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  You and Oliver spent the rest of the night loading stuff into the escape shuttle. It felt so surreal, you were actually going to leave. Leave the only place you had ever called home. You poured everything you had into working and building a name for yourself here.
'And it was all for nothing"
You went to grab another bag, snapping out of your thoughts when your hands groped at empty air.
'Oh, that's it. I guess we leave now then..'
Stepping onboard the small ship, you walked to the cockpit area where Oliver was already seated and fiddling with the controls.
"Are you sure this is going to work?"
You couldn't help but wish he would say no. Tell you that he was getting last minute nerves, and now this whole idea seemed silly.
"Y/N calm down. I've told you a million times, I've got this under control. Everything is going to be fine, are you ready to go?" He seemed confident, excited almost. His bright smile should've put you at ease, but it didn't. You couldn't help but think about what would happen if you were caught. Kylo would definitely kill Oliver; would he spare you?
"Go? Like right now?"
It seemed ridiculous just a couple of hours ago you'd never been more confident in a decision. But now it felt like you were about to make the biggest mistake of your life.
Oliver chuckled and patted the seat next to him.
"Of course right now, unless you forgot something?"
"No.." you slid into the seat and scrubbed your sweaty palms against your pants.
"Good. Well, let's get going then"
The doors slid shut and the engine roared to life under you. The small ship started to roll out towards the open hanger. Then before you could process it, shot out into the empty void of space.
"Tatooine here we come!" Oliver laughed and cheered, nudging you playfully. You smiled tightly back at him, your safe departure easing you up a bit.
'Maybe we can actually pull this off..'
The next hour you sat trying to relax while Oliver filled the silence. He went on and on, excitedly telling you everywhere he wanted to go now.
After you got to go to Tatooine, he wanted to take you to meet his family back on his home planet.
"Why exactly do you want to go back to Tatooine anyways? I know you were a slave there before, so why would you want to go back? Are you looking for someone?"
You watched him glance at you curiously, wondering if he was prying too deep.
"Um..well yes, kind of. I want to find my sister, see where she is. But I hope she's not there, I hope she got out of that awful place. I just need to make sure she's okay"
Oliver smiled at you kindly, "your a really good sister"
"No. I feel terrible, I left her there alone in that horrible situation in the first place."
"Y/N I'm sure that's not true. I know how the First Order rolls. I was taken forcefully too, there's nothing you could've done. But why didn't they take her too?"
"She hid. I never even got to say goodbye" you frowned at the memory. You could still remember it vividly, kicking and screaming as troopers dragged you inside the ship. Your sister nowhere to be found in the crowd of children they round up to take as well.
"Well, what matters is that we're going back and you'll be able to find her now."
You both sat in silence for a couple minutes after until Oliver spoke again.
"Y/N why did you want to leave all of a sudden? Did you go to Kylo's?" His voice was soft, and his hands tightened against the steering controls.
"I don't want to talk about it" you mumbled, turning to stare out the window.
"Please Y/N, I'm just worried about you. What happened?"
"It doesn't matter"
"What do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'? Look at me please..."
The desperation in his voice forced you to turn back. His eyes were sad as they searched your appearance, burning guilt into you. He reached his hand out to gently graze over the forming bruises peppering your jaw.
"Y/N what did he do to you?"
You ripped your face away from his hand, and returned back to stare out the window.
"Why do you care?"
You heard him laugh almost hysterically behind you, and you eyed him confused.
"Isn't it obvious? Y/N I care about you. No matter how many times you go back to Kylo. Chose him over me, I can't stop caring about you. That's why I'm so excited to take you to some dry planet in the middle of nowhere. Because I want you to be happy."
His words sounded like some sort of sick déjà vu. Oliver waited for your reaction, but all you could do was sit in shock.
You stumbled up out of your seat, "I just need a couple of minutes. I think I'm just going to go lie down for a bit"
He seemed embarrassed by your lack of response but smiled at you encouragingly.
"Of course. I'm sorry that was a lot, especially right now. But I just need you to know, I meant every word"
You tried to smile back. But you were sure it looked more like a grimace as you nodded before you walked out. The ship was pretty small, but had a comfortable sized private room with a bunk bed pushed in the corner. Your laid down shakily on the bottom bed trying to get comfortable. Instead you ended up rigidly laying on your back.
'What kind of sick joke is this?'
You should be happy. The reason you were leaving was because you wanted to feel loved, cared about. Kylo made it clear he would never be able to give you that. But now you had someone who said he did. You could actually have a future with him. After you found out we're your sister was, you could either move on happily or bring her with you. Maybe travel the galaxy with her and Oliver, as a sort of makeshift 'family'.
It sounded too perfect. Too good to be true, but at the same time so wrong. It was the strangest and most confusing feeling. You wanted this. Wanted a stable future with someone who cared about you and your happiness. And you liked Oliver, so you shouldn't even have any doubts.
'But you still want me more'
Kylo's words to you echoed through your head. The words that started this entire mess.
What would've happened if that night, after your date with Oliver, you denied him. Didn't make the mistake of giving in to your desires. Maybe you wouldn't have caught feelings for a man who'd never return them. Maybe you would've been ecstatic over Oliver's confession, and excited to start a new life with him.
Instead you just felt empty.

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I feel like this chapter was super short since lately my recent ones have been pretty long. So I'll have chapter 19 posted in like a couple of hours.
  But I hope you guys are enjoying it so far, the next chapter will be a Kylo POV to keep things interesting, since they're like kind of separated now (and we all know we're here for Kylo😌)

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