Nothing Less than Respect (KyloRenXReader)

Could Never Love You

*I don't know if I should, but just in case I'm going to give you a trigger warning. Theres some verbal abuse, I know it can be sensitive to some people who have experienced it in the past so I just wanted to let you know❤️

Your thoughts a mess, the elevator doors closed continuing on with its route. Mindlessly you pushed the button for the floor to your room.
'I didn't expect him to tell me he loves me and take me on a date or anything, but he didn't need to be so harsh'
   A part of you knew that it was better this way, it's not like you could actually pursue a relationship with him. He was the Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader's apprentice, master of the Knights of Ren. There was no time for him to be in a 'relationship', especially with a stormtrooper commander. You both had your separate responsibilities.
  Frustrated you threw open your room door and yanked your workout clothes out of the drawers. You needed to take your anger out on something, and the gym sounded like the perfect idea.
   It was mostly empty since it was pretty late, setting your stuff on the floor you began to wrap your hands. You had formed an affinity with the gym's punching bag, and frequented it often. It was a win-win, you got to take out your anger and at the same time get some extra training in.
  You readied a fighting stance while preparing your mindset.
   'Okay, think of everything that pisses you off...' Kylo's cold voice entered your head, 'this doesn't change anything'
Wham, you landed a hard right hook on the bag.
   'It's not like he'd ever love you anyway'
  You landed another punch.
  'You're stupid for thinking he ever could' wham 'no ones ever loved you' wham, 'you're nothing' wham 'useless' wham 'pathetic' wham, 'not even your parents loved you, how could anyone else?'
  You continued violently abusing the bag as hot tears began to stream down your face. Then feeling a warm hand on your shoulder, you whipped around defensively.
  "Woah, it's okay..." a man with shoulder length, wavy, brown hair stood there, holding his arms open in retreat. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to make sure you were okay" his hazel eyes searched your face concerned.
  "Oh, um yeah I'm fine..." suddenly aware of the tears still staining your face you wiped your cheeks quickly. "I just got a little too into it I guess"
  "Yeah for sure...I mean not in a bad way. I just meant you're really good" he laughed off his awkwardness. "I'm Oliver, by the way"
  "Y/N"
  "Oh I know, we work together" his face fell slightly.
  "Are you one of my new troop members? I'm really bad with names, and everything kind of harder when everyone's wearing their helmet and everything"
  "No, no, I'm a Stormtrooper Commander too. I'm in charge of group B-10."
"Your group was sent to Jakku right?" You remembered standing next to him at the meeting.
"Yup that's me" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Although, we failed the mission..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean bring 'that' up"
"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal. Plus I heard that because of it, your group was able to go on the next mission and secure what was needed''
"Well kind of, we were able to locate the droid, but Kylo Ren thought it would be a better idea to leave it and take the girl instead. Even though it kind of all went to shit, Hux was overall happy with the job we did and Kylo had to take responsibility for what he did"
"Regardless it's still really impressive..."
You blushed at the compliment as he shifted in his spot, "Hey um, I was going to grab a drink tomorrow night at the bar. Did you maybe want to come with?"
'I mean why not? It's not like you have plans with anyone else? And he is pretty cute, nothing like Kylo though...'
You shook off the thought, that was the perfect reason to go. He was nothing like Kylo, Oliver seemed like a genuinely sweet guy who wouldn't leave as soon as he finished cumming in you. "Sure, that actually sounds nice"
"Really? That's great" a dazzling smile took over his face. "Well theres a meeting early tomorrow so I'll see you there. That gives us enough time to train with our troops, then after I can pick you up at 0800. How's that sound?"
"Sounds perfect, you don't have to walk to my room though. We can just meet at the bar" you shrugged.
"Oh okay, well I'll see you then Y/N" flashing you one more smile he grabbed his gym bag and left. His smile was contagious as you watched him walk off.
'Yea, he's definitely nothing like Kylo'
You got in a couple more punches, but didn't have the rage you once had before you talked to Oliver. So you picked up your stuff and headed back to your room.
After taking a hot shower and preparing for tomorrow. You sighed as you snuggled into your bed, letting your mind wander.
'Going out with Oliver will be a good thing. He might be able to help distract you from Kylo. Or worst case scenario, he never said it was a date, and I did enjoy talking to him, so I could just play it off as a hang out and gain a friend from it' . You rolled over willing yourself to fall asleep, "I wonder if Kylo would be jealous? No of course not! Are you dumb, we just went over this. He told you himself that nothing would change between the two of you'
Groaning loudly you smashed a pillow over your face, "Stars, does my brain ever shut up?" You sat awake for a while longer before you were finally able to drift asleep, subconsciously remembering your life back home.
'Your dad stood over you, yelling as you huddled yourself into a ball on the floor, "You're so useless
Y/N, you'll never amount to anything!" Curling in tighter you sat silently. "Did you hear me? No one will ever love you, filthy cunt!"
Jolting awake you shot up from your bed. Trying to catch your breath, and comforting yourself from the nightmare. "..never amount to anything.." you scoffed, "If only you could see me now Dad".

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I really wanted to start to dive into Y/N's past
Just to help understand why she thinks, acts the way she does.
I also wanted to say thank you for all the support I've gotten on my wattpad, It means so much to me🥺
Also thank you for leaving comments,I get so happy reading them💕