THE BOOK OF CIPHER

Remember

High above the world, amidst the collection of matter, the pocket galaxy clawed into the very fabric of god's creation- was a pyramid.

This wasn't your average, floating pyramid. No, not your typical, twenty story square-based triangle—! (Though it's ordinary twin could be found in the mystical realm of San Fransisco) It wore the shadowed sheen of Onyx towered slab by slab, immune to the occasional pelting of floating cars and trucks, let alone the light showers of clinging anti-matter against a cradle of freckled colour. Bright swaths of crimsons, yellows and greens, decorated the sky like a wayward lick of oil. Little known to some- the dwelling played host to a—

"Pew! Pew!!"

One row.

Two rows.

Three.

To the unassuming naked eye, one may only see little stone columns lined up after one another on a sill staring high above in the fearamid. To the same strained, still unassuming eye- if looked upon closely, the stones had curious faces, ones which could be discerned as— "Fear-!! Flee!! Run while you still can!" One 'screamed' as it was jostled like an action figure, an arm descending to knock the masses over with a stilted, maniacal laugh. Looming above with two figures in his fists, Bill sat giggling, mashing their faces together. "Now, kiss! Kiss you monsters!" He exclaimed. The populace of Gravity Falls was quite literally under his feet, like annoying pieces of LEGO out to get him. He had already re-enacted every dimensional war, every one of the greatest love stories—

He even made time to line them up, pacing past and with piqued interest, branded but few, on the back of their necks- microscopic imprinted triangles, those who led lives that could be watched, to further his purpose after his demise.

—

What? You didn't think I'd know that? Haha, bet you weren't expecting me, huh kid? Your tiny brain can't even begin to comprehend my very existence now, can it?! You know, I knew for a long time that my time was coming- that I wouldn't be able to stretch my beautiful weirdmaggedon beyond Gravity Falls, that I'd be outsmarted by two... kids— who would thought that, huh? I've revoked the speaking rights of the author, so this is my story now! Old Sixer wasn't going to be able to extend my world so I had to make ends meet.

I took up residence in my statue after being 'eradicated' by Stan, you see. I could see why so many are afraid to die, so afraid to not exist, to have no conscious so much so that it limits their every move like a king in 'human' chess... its fascinating! My handsome statue was cosy for the most part, roomy- though I could only manifest my second favourite sofa-! Its made from the scraps of drain hair I've collected over the past two centuries, it smells great! Got that fresh, off-the-press mildew smell. I'd offer you a screaming head or some teeth for the road but you have such little time, scroller. The dreaded she is going to start narrating again- but don't worry, I'll be watching... I know how this story ends and before it's even begun- but before I go kid, you want an accurate imitation of you in ten seconds? "..... what?" Ha ha ha ha-! Remember, the universe is a hologram, buy gold- bye!

—

Bill sat on the sofa- all one could do in this solitary, really. And if he had a mouth, which he did- a minute, grainy pore invisible to the naked eye— it would be curled into a knowing, mischievous smile as he stared into the white void of his prison. His eye was rolled back, static filtered gaze flicking through, channel after channel, person after person- all branded and roaming freely as he flicked through his catalogue of choice till it stopped decidedly, his porous grin stretching—

                                  "You."