Tormented love

Chapter 23

We walked further down the red carpeted sidewalk and under the flowered arch above us. Unknowingly, I'd wrapped my own arm into Jakes. It was a reoccurring thing if I'm honest. We'd only been dating for a few days at this point. He was so familiar to me though. Where as it took months to build up the courage to routinely kiss Zach, it took me a few minutes to announce that Jake and I were going to a room. At a party. Alone.

I feel awkward about that now.

Kissing Jake came easily. Kissing Zach took time. Holding Jake was normal. Holding Zach was frantic. Having sex with Jake, which happens often now was comfortable. Having sex with Zach was always scary. It was great, but I always questioned myself. I never felt good enough, I didn't think I'd done it right. Not ever.

The silk fitted dress slit up my thighs and Jake reassured himself by standing closer to me, seeming as though he was announcing his possession. I was his and he was sure by now that everyone knew this.

In my mind I wondered, how many people saw this coming? Such a cliche thing if you think about it. Bestfriends hooking up. Strange I had to date his friend for it to happen and I also wonder, would it have really happened, had I not dated Zach?

There he was, across the room. Zach.

The others danced and talked, yelled actually. The music was blaring. Jake was speaking in my ear. I couldn't make out what he was saying. Jake was trying to grasp my attention that was lured across the dance floor. Attached to the breathtaking male who stood next to some guy, a guy I didn't know. I longed to be the person standing next to him now. I do miss Zach. I hated him for it. Why did I have to love the guy who hurt me so bad? Didn't Jake hurt me too?

Not like this.

His tux was a plain black one, under it the vest was a royal blue. I knew this because among all the chaos he'd taken the white button up off and only placed the vest over his sculpted chest. His beautiful perfectly tinted skin taunted me. He smirked at something the red haired guy stated and ran a hand through his hair. I'd missed doing that for him. When his own eyes landed on mine, the ones staring at him he frowned and turned back to the red headed boy, forcing another laugh.

I hope he's hilarious, Zach.

"Anna?" I finally heard Jakes voice break through the loud music. I looked over to him and for the first time noticed his hand that was rested on my bare skin, where the dress was slit. Nearly to my hip bone. I thought Zach frowned at me, I see now he frowned at Jakes hand and I mentally applaud Jake for it.

This isn't right using Jake to get to Zach.

"Huh?" It was rude, in a way. I didn't even know how many times he'd called my name. The music was loud but Zach was suffocating me. My mind was literal mush. All thoughts return to Zach and his beautiful face. How badly I want to run across the room to him.

"Do you want anything to drink? Punch? Rohan has vodka I can add." Yeah to take this damn edge off, please.

"Yeah, add the vodka. Thanks." He kissed at my jaw and I returned a simple kiss to his lips as Ally takes my hand and leads me away.

To the dreaded dance floor.

"Where's your head at?" She yelled, loud enough for me to hear. Logically I should've shrugged. This was Ally though, she'd call me out in my lies.

"Zach." She shook her head as we danced together.

"Then let's talk." For a moment I believed she had a hell of a manly voice. Until a hand snaked it's way to my nearly exposed hips. I nearly cried at the thought of Jake knowing I was thinking of Zach this entire night. "Just for a minute. Right over there." It was Zach who had his hands around my waist though. I moved out of his grip as the red haired boy sipped on his drink, raising an eyebrow.

"Something funny, douche?" I motioned to him and he held his hands up in defense.

"Don't be like that. He's a cool guy. I had to have someone come with me, he's not being snarky. He's making fun of me because of your rejection to me." I apologize to the guy and he nods before Ally grabs my hand.

"Jake." Zach groans at my protest.

"Will get over it. Anna let's talk."

"Anna?" Ally pleaded. This time the red hair boy groaned.

"Holy shit. Where's the Jake guy?" Ally motioned to Jake standing at the punch bar talking to Rohan. "Damn. Big dude. I'll go entertain them."

"Anna." Ally continued.

"We're just going to talk." I remind her.

"Anna." She had no trust in that statement. I could tell by her eyes.

"Ally." Zach pleaded.

"Tough bunch. Ally, let Anna talk to him. You come with me gorgeous. I'll keep you company." She grinned at his smirk and reached for his hand before they head towards the punch bar.

Zach holds out his hand for me and I hesitated. Only for a moment before he grabbed my hand himself and pulled me into him. It was like he knew I was about to cry. He knew he would need to comfort me and he did. "Do you want to walk?" I nodded against his chest and he then wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me to the back steps of the large lobby. We walked around the building in silence and he pulled out a chair under the podium. "How have you been?" I nodded my head and leaned back in the chair before he rested a hand on my knee. "Good?" I nodded again. "Talk to me."

"I like being with Jake, I missed him Zach." He nodded rubbing my knee. "I do love him. You know, just not like.." I smiled as I wiped my cheeks, stopping myself.

"Just not like you love me?" It was almost a whisper. I whimpered before a sigh escaped. "Do you miss me Anna?" I nodded my head and played with my nails, the fake nails Jake took me to get with Ashley and Ally. "I miss you too."

"Then why'd you do it?" I stopped my actions and waited for his response. For a while, I wasn't sure he would respond. He'd open his mouth and a sound would come out then he'd shut it again and look at the ground. I'd given up hope, he didn't have a reason besides the fact that I wasn't enough for him.

"Anna I was scared." I raised an eyebrow. "So many people liked you and you have so many friends. You were with me." I looked at him like he was an idiot. He had to be. "You could've left me at any time and I believed you would. I was scared to lose you but I knew I would. I wish I wouldn't have done it. I swear but I don't understand why you gave me a chance Anna." I snorted. "I love you Anna. I'm going to love you for forever. I just don't understand why you love me." He laughed. "Or why you did love me before I made an ass of myself." I don't know why, I couldn't explain to anyone why. But I leaned closer to Zach and when he tried to keep talking I pressed my own lips to his. He didn't move at first. He was in shock. I was too, when did I become this person?

Then he began to kiss back and I felt amazing. He pulled my into his lap and keep the friction between us strong. Ignited. My body was on fire and his fingers were jet fuel.

Zach never ceased to amaze me. At this point neither did I.

Because what the hell am I going to tell Jake?