Knowing Me, Knowing You

She's My Kind Of Girl

"So, out of curiosity, when you said you had to stay in your room to avoid hearing about your sister, is it like that even when she's not home?" Carter questioned as they entered the forest preserve. It was a small wooded area with a large pond to their right. The trail was mostly dirt. Lots of insects were still out, and a small garden snake slithered to their left. Along the path were trash cans and signs explaining the sort of flora and fauna, as well as what wildlife you're most likely to find by those plants.

Carter crossed her arms over her chest, trying to ignore the soft chill. Xander buried his hands into his sweatshirt's pockets and shrugged. "I guess. I've just started ignoring my parents honestly. They've been creating more problems than solving them."

"How so?"

"I mean, I'm constantly being compared to my sister. Not to mention that they think I won't amount to anything if I don't start acting like her. It's not like I easily can live like any of them. I'm just the odd one out."

"Because you don't want to do businessy stuff, or?"

"That, and I haven't found my soulmate," he mocked as he rolled his eyes. "It's not like it's easy. I mean, it's their faults I have relationship anxiety in the first place. How can they expect me to just easily find someone to be with."

"What do you mean it's their fault?"

Xander groaned under his breath. "My mom and dad met at summer camp when they were fifteen. Mom lived out here, and dad lived in Mishawaka. They made the long distance relationship work, and they've been together ever since. My mom's parents knew each other for three days before they got engaged, and then they got married three months later."

"Hot damn."

"And my sister has been dating the same boy since fourth grade. They broke up two times. They got back together two times. My dad's parents met at a rally where my grandma jumped into the back of my grandpa's car, and he drove her to his cabin without knowing it. They spent a week in close corridors getting to know each other and have been together ever since."

"What the fuck?" Carter whispered, mesmerized.

"And I'm just constantly dating new girls. Any time things begin to get too serious, I begin to think that she has to be the person I end up with or else I'll never find anyone. Everyone in my family found their partner before they graduated, and the closer I get to graduation, the more I feel like a failure."

Carter nodded. It wasn't hard to think that if everyone in your family had incredible love stories, you'd be a failure for not having one of your own. Romance was never something Carter thought about, which was most likely why her parents thought she was aromantic. But she did like the idea of dating someone. A lot of people did. And even though Xander was scared to be with someone for a long time, it was obvious he wanted to be with someone. All he had to do was be patient.

"Do you believe in fate or coincidence?" Carter asked.

Cocking an eyebrow at her, Xander shrugged. "Fate, I guess."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess I like the idea of knowing that everything is happening for a reason and that it's all going to lead to something big for me."

"Then maybe your relationship anxiety is going to lead you to finding your so-called soulmate."

He stopped walking. Carter took a few more steps before realizing he wasn't following her. She turned back to stare at him.

"How could that be helpful?"

"Well...maybe if you didn't have relationship anxiety, you would be with someone who you're not supposed to be with. The anxiety is blocking you from going too far with the wrong person, because when you meet the right person, the only thing you're going to be afraid of is not having a future with her. If you truly believe in fate, then you will be with the person you're meant to be with, because you'll be ready to be with her."

Xander's eyes glistened as he sucked in his bottom lip. Shuffling awkwardly as he began to walk alongside Carter again, he asked, "Do you really think so?"

"I do believe that you'll be ready for your soulmate when she comes around."

As Xander continued to walk with Carter, he felt his chest grow lighter. While the stress was still there, it didn't feel as bothersome as before. Carter was right; if he didn't have his relationship anxiety, he would be with the wrong person. He may not have met Carter because of that person. The idea of never meeting her upset him. He liked Carter a lot.

A breeze wisped against them, and Carter shivered. Noticing, Xander took off his hoodie and wrapped it around her shoulders. While it wouldn't fit her if she tried to put it on, it was perfect to have hanging over her shoulders.

"It's starting to get colder faster. You should remember a jacket or something."

"Sorry," Carter whispered.

"Don't be," Xander assured as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Carter had seen people do that with their coat before, and Dante or Regina had wrapped their arms around her as well. But there was something different about when Xander did it. It confused her. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was still confusing.

"Which do you believe in?" he asked. "Fate or coincidence?"

"Coincidence all the way," she stated. "Fate makes it seem like everything is planned out for you, but coincidence means you have free will. It means that if I fuck up, it's not because I was supposed to fuck up but because I just did. Then there's no one to blame but me."

"Does it have to do with your scholarship as well?" he questioned, and she lowered her head. "That if you don't make it, it's because you failed and not because you were supposed to."

"I like relying on me and knowing that I can control my life. And it makes the sweeter moments sweeter because instead of thinking that it was supposed to happen, it happened because someone wanted it to happen. Like falling in love. I like the idea that someone fell in love with me because they got to know me and made that choice for themself, not because of fate."

"While that does seem sweet, you have to keep in mind that fate led you to find this person and allowed you the chance to get to know them so you can fall in love with them. It's still a choice to fall in love, but it was fate that brought you together. That's romantic."

"I guess, but I still like my way more."

"Agree to disagree," he chuckled.

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